Someday
by Kat24mlr
Summary: A Jack and Audrey story that takes place six months after season seven. Audrey Raines is finally putting her life back together, when the man she thought had left her for good returns, under what circumstance she's not sure.
1. Prologue A light in a Rainy Window

Someday

A Jack and Audrey story

by kat24mlr – Kate

Intro:

My how I've missed you Fanfiction! It has been too long since I've sat down to write a chapter on here, or actually anywhere at all. I gave up writing you see this year. And yes, it was sad and dumb but that's not why we're here. In case you were wondering, I'm here because I can not even look at another Jack and Renee love-fest story. I tried, I really did. I watched the last two seasons, waiting for the moment when Audrey Raines would be be called in dramatically, and would in some way tell Renee off and fall in love with Jack again. Anyways now I'm waiting for the movie but in the meantime...

Here is my way to make peace with such an amazing love story, and to fill in some blanks in their past. I've read every single Jack and Audrey story on this website and have yet to find a complete version of the relationship from beginning to end, so here is my attempt.

This story starts post season seven (just forget season eight, I can't even begin to try to work that sex scene into this story, and I don't want to), in D.C. And just so you're not wondering, Audrey Raines here is kind of like Nico Riley on Lipstick Jungle, but still broken from everything. And Jack is fine, almost fully recovered from that gas stuff.

As always I don't own the characters. The story takes place six months after season seven. Events occur in whatever matter of time I find necessary, with flashbacks occurring frequently.

Now if I'll stop talking (I promise I'll never do an intro again), I've got a story to write.

Prologue- "Light in a Rainy Window"

Rain fell over the darkened D.C. night. All the lights were turned off in the small apartment, all except for a few candles flickering on the coffee table. The rain pattered softly against the glass of the large bay window overlooking the city. Somewhere in the distance the lights of the capital dome could be seen, a glowing mass high above the lights of the city surrounding it.

The apartment was a decent size, though less expensive than most of the apartments in that area. Apartment 24B looked at first glance to be uninhabited. Apart from a sofa and coffee table in the living room, most of the personal items had been left in the boxes they had come in, piled against the island that separated the kitchen from the living room, and scattered down the hall way and in the bedroom. The walls were still white, without any pictures hanging from the walls. No one would have guessed that the person living there had moved in almost a year ago.

Audrey Raines sat on the hardwood floor of her living room, leaning against the couch, a glass of red wine in her hand. She stared at the capital building, not thinking of anything, or at least attempting not to think of him. At work it was easy, the never ending stream of paperwork kept her more than occupied. In her apartment though, her mind was left free to wander into locked doors she kept trying to throw away the keys for. Watching TV was pointless; the political and news stations only held her interest for so long. Even her favorite movies, classics she had watched with her mother when she was little, had lost their appeal for soon enough she would remember that moment where they were watching it together on her couch. He would hold her in his arms and kiss her neck softly at first so that she barely noticed it. She would pretend to be watching the movie when really she was all too aware of circles his fingers traced on her abdomen. Finally when she couldn't stand it anymore, she would turn towards him pretending to be annoyed, but the mischievous smirk on his face broke down her fake resolve. He would lean in to kiss her, her arm wrapping around his neck...

Before her mind could remember the rest, Audrey ran a hand down her face in an attempt to dispense the memory form her mind. It was the small moments such as those that constantly tore at her, reminding her of the six months she spent with him.

She took a small sip of wine, letting the taste of it linger on her tongue for a moment. Putting the glass back on the table, she leaned her head back against the couch, closing her eyes, letting his distorted image flood her mind.

She could still remember the way his blonde hair became more and more disheveled as the day went on. The way his blue eyes lit up when he smiled. The stubble on his chin that always seemed to be there, even after he had shaved. The way he would fold his sleeves up at the end of the day, exposing the strong arms she loved to feel wrapped around herself.

Though his name was always on her lips, she didn't dare speak it out loud, even alone in her own apartment. It was the one thing she couldn't do, that she wouldn't let herself do. For months it had been the only thing she did say, muttering over and over to herself. Then one day, when she knew he wasn't coming back, she grew quiet and stopped talking all together. Now even though she had for the most part fully recovered, she was still afraid of what would happen if she did say it.

She didn't expect to see or hear from him ever again. He had left her, for good it seemed this time. It didn't matter the circumstances, if he wanted to see her again then he could come find her, but she didn't have the will power to hunt him down. It wouldn't take much to find him, Chloe was in living in town now, and he would've left information for where he was with her. Audrey didn't ask though, because mainly she didn't want to find out that he had moved leaving her clinging to memories from more than 6 years ago.

No she wouldn't say his name or try and find him, and she absolutely wouldn't show up at his door on a night like tonight, with tears running down her face just to find another woman inside. He had left her, her father hadn't had to say anything more when he had explained it to her three years ago. She had accepted it, but that didn't mean she didn't miss him, or that she had moved on.

She missed everything about him, from his cologne to the way he said her name in that low deep voice. _Let it go_ she told herself. Oh how much easier it would make things if she did. Maybe then her life wouldn't feel like such a struggle anymore. Not that anyone could tell. She guarded her emotions heavily, careful not to let anyone see her breaking up inside, careful not to worry them.

Her phone rang loudly beside her, breaking the silence in the room and making her jump. With a sharp intake of breathe, irritated mostly at herself for being startled so easily, she denied the call and turned it off without even bothering to look at the number.

It was probably Jen calling to check up on her again. Audrey took off the large bracelets from both wrists, exposing the scarlet colored marks that wrapped all the way around. They were the only visible scars of her six months in a Chinese prison camp, and she made sure to keep them hidden during the day. She rubbed her left wrist absentmindedly as her gaze returned to the D.C. Skyline.

It was cold outside in the rain. Jack pulled his jacket tighter against him as he walked up to the darkened house. Her address had never been far from his mind back when he was in hiding, because even then he new he would find his way back someday.

When he had first pulled up he had expected her to be home. He had planned simply knocking on her door and taking her into his arms, but the house was empty, though it still looked lived in. He had already called Chloe to make sure she still owned it. It was almost ten now, and he knew she wouldn't go out on a work night.

With a sickening in his stomach the thought occurred to him that she could be at a lover's house. He had never wanted her to be alone while he was gone, but just the thought that another man could be touching her at this moment was enough for both his nerves and his temper.

Reaching the porch, he found the door locked. He thought for a moment about trying to pick it, before he remembered the key "hidden" under the flower pot. To both his surprise and dismay, he found it still in the same spot, almost glad for once that she hadn't listened to his protests of how unsafe it was to leave a key there.

In the nine months he had worked for the Department of Defense, there was no place where he spent more of his time than here with her. Opening the door into the small hallway, it felt like home to him. Everything was exactly how he had remembered it for the most part, from the furniture to the pictures on the wall. Turning on the lights, he began to make his way through the living room and into the kitchen. It looked almost exactly as it did the morning they had left for California. He walked to her counter and slowly picked up the folder that was laying there. Still inside was the trip information they had looked over together the night before they had left. Panic and disappointment spread through him as he began to look more closely around the house. It seemed only a few things were missing; a picture frame, a few books from the coffee table, and some other various items.

He realized all at once that she obviously wasn't staying here anymore, and hadn't been for some time. He was at a loss at how to find her, when all he knew was that she was her in the city and that she still owned this place. Her father had taken the liberty of making sure Jack couldn't find his daughter, blocking her phone number and current address so that even Chloe was having a hard time tracking her down.

Exhausted, tired, and wet from the rain, he went back into the living room, smiling to himself at the familiar sight of their couch. It was there that he had held her close to him, her head resting on his chest and falling asleep in his arms. For years he had looked forward to the day he would be able to come back here, to come back home, but now he was finding that without her, he would never truly be home.

It was then that he saw the picture frame on the mantle of the small fireplace. For a moment he thought he was hallucinating, until he moved closer and held it in his hands. The picture in question was the exact same one he still carried in the pocket of his coat since he had faked his death. It was that picture, creased down the middle and stained,that he would gaze at homesick and heartbroken, every night while he was living in Diane's apartment. No matter how many days he had spent away, when the night set in he would pull it out and let himself remember her, and the life he had left behind. It would also be that picture that he had kept close to him in Africa, and in all the other places he had gone to after he had left her.

That night, the one in the picture, had been from a small private party at one of their friend's cottage at the Cape, though cottage was an understatement for the mansion they had pulled up to that night.. She had looked absolutely stunning, in just a simple black dress with a low v-neck, the length of it cut to halfway down her thigh. The night was perfect with a warm breeze that blew her straightened hair that she had kept down for tonight. Her hazel eyes shimmered with the glow of the lanterns fixed around the large deck overlooking the ocean. They had been dating for four months then, but it would be their first party together as a couple. They had both decided that it would be best to keep their relationship a secret for the time being, but that night the only people who had taken notice of the two of them together had been Audrey's friend Jen and her fiancee David, whom they had already double dated with.

At some point during the night they had separated for only a few minutes, but it was long enough for him to miss her beside him. He found her alone, leaning against the railing, gazing into the ocean as the sun faded behind her. Quietly, he came up to her, wrapping his arms around her stomach and resting his chin on her shoulder. She leaned into his chest, her hands coming to rest over his, sighing deeply. "I've missed you" he whispered into her ear. She laughed "I was gone for two minutes Jack". "I know" he said, turning her in his arms, "but it felt like forever to me". Her arms came to rest around his neck effortlessly, a smile coming across her lips "I'm not going anywhere" she said softly. In that moment there was no question for him that this was exactly where he wanted to be. He laid his forehead against hers, his lips turning up slightly into one of his half smiles. "Your amazing, you know that?" There was no laughter this time as she pulled back slightly to gaze into his eyes, almost shyly. He pulled her towards him, his hand sliding up to support her cheek as he kissed her.

It was sometime in that moment that Jen had taken a picture of the both of them, and had later made copies for them. As Jack held her copy in his hands now, he noticed the note pad that had been lying under it. Opening it, he found a list of telephone numbers, including one marked "cell". He dialed the number, his heart beating fast as the it rang once, then twice, then straight to voice mail.

Her voice rang out from the speaker, startling him slightly.

"Hi you've reached Audrey, sorry I wasn't able to take your call, but if you leave a message, I'll try and get back to you as soon as I can"

Under her cell number was another one labeled "Work" and then "Senator Cooper".

Jack put the picture frame back on its spot on top of the notepad. He knew just where to find her.

_"I'm really close tonight, and I feel like I'm moving inside her. Lying in the dark, and I think that I'm beginning to know her. Let it go, I'll be there when you call"_

_-"Fall at Your Feet" - Crowded House_

Well that's that. I have to say I'm kind of nervous about this one, but just remember, this is just the first chapter. Anything that's not clear now will be fully explained in the next chapter I promise. AND it will be a lot more eventful. (aka don't leave me yet! Lol trust me it gets better here on in, and I should know considering it's already written.

Comment! -Kate


	2. Chapter 1 Just Another Day Without You

_Okay okay so there's a few people out there still reading Jack and Audrey fanfiction, nice to know that not everyone converted to Jack and Renee. Lots of lovely reviews by the way I appreciate them very much. And for those of you who just clicked the add to alert button, yes you out there, that's fine too I don't mind because I'm usually not a reviewer myself._

_I wasn't actually planning on using this chapter when I posted the other one the other day but what the heck right? It'll be like the lost chapter. _

_Chapter 1- "Just Another Day (Without You)"_

_She was in a hallway, underground maybe. It was cold and damp, the lights were flickering on and off every so often making it difficult to see where she was walking._

_An alarm was going off somewhere in the distance, alerting the guards that she had escaped. It hurt her ankle to walk but she kept moving as fast as she could. _

_She knew he was there, just behind the solid metal door at the end. She could feel that he was there, but It seemed like with every step she took that door was father away. _

_The sounding alarm was getting louder as she broke out into a run. If she could just see him, than they could get out of there together, there had to be a way. _

_She finally reached the door, pulling it open easily and shutting it behind her. The room inside was no bigger than a closet with no windows or lights and was damp and dirty. _

_She reached around in the darkness for something to guide her, and finding one of the walls, began to search for him. _

"_Jack?" She called hopefully, moving around the small room. _

_She felt every corner of the cell and didn't find any trace of him. She was debating what she should do next, when suddenly the door was pulled open letting in a blinding light. _

_Cheng appeared smirking at her, clearly happy that this is where she ended up, like he knew she would. Audrey, knowing she had walked right into a trap, slid down the wall. She laid her head on her knees and wrapped her arms around herself protectively._

_He wasn't here; their one chance at escape was gone. She knew what would come next, a beating and then maybe another shot of whatever they were poisoning her with. _

_When the searing pain didn't come, she looked up hearing Cheng's menacing laugh. _

"_It seems Mr. Bauer has left without you Ms. Raines. He didn't bother to take you with him"_

_Audrey shook her head no. Jack would never escape without bringing her with him, she just knew it. _

_Cheng laughed again, pleased at the desperateness in her eyes. He crouched down taking her head in his hands. _

"_It seems he no longer cares for you anymore, which means that we have no use for you" _

_Cheng stood up, taking a gun from the outstretched hand of a guard. Audrey shook uncontrollably as a few tears fall down her face, but all she could say was his name over and over again. It was as if just saying his name would somehow keep her safe. _

_The alarm was louder than ever now pulsating through her head. She couldn't do anything to save herself except to repeat his name over and over in the hopes that somehow he could hear her and save her. _

_She waited for it to be over, for this nightmare to end, and suddenly everything went black. _

Audrey woke up with a start, breathing heavily and covered in a cold sweat.

His name escaped her lips once more before she could stop herself, and instinctively she turned to what would be his side of the bed, even knowing he wouldn't be there.

Groaning, she ran her hands across her face. Her dream had really been a memory from China, one she relived so often in her dreams, that she knew every line by heart.

She got out of bed slowly, turning the alarm clock off as she left.

It was going to be a long day.

6:15 am

Audrey made her way into the Department of Defense building in Washington D.C., dressed in a black suit coat, skirt, and heels. She was already on the phone with her secretary going over her schedule for the day. Her boss would be giving a speech in less than an hour on President Taylor's decision to send two thousand Nation Guard troops into Africa.

David Cooper, a forty-three year old politician from Massachusetts, had served eight years in the army before deciding to take part in the world of politics. His wife was a beautiful but down to earth women, and the two of them had three daughters, all with brilliant blonde hair.

His boyish charm and smile as well as his loyalty and respect for his co-workers, had won him the favor of President Taylor who appointed him Secretary of Defense upon her first term in office.

Since he was still new at the job, he had been smart in hiring people who had worked under Heller, including Audrey.

Audrey had resisted at first, but had eventually agreed after seeing that the inexperienced politician would need all the help he could get. Not that he wasn't intelligent, he had gone to Yale before joining the army, but even though he knew the basics of politics he was still very new at the game of politics, a game that Audrey was well trained in.

Audrey made her way through the glass doors into the busy forum filled with men and women in suits talking to each other about work... or more likely the office gossip from the day before.

She dropped her head as she made her way to her office, not wanting to start a conversation with anyone so early in the morning. Sure enough though, she felt someone grab her shoulder lightly stopping her just as she was unlocking her door.

"Hey what's up? I got you coffee"

Turning to the man standing behind her, she took the cup from his outstretched hand.

"Thanks Mike, I'm already having a bad day"

Mike Dempsey was her co-worker and partner on one of her current projects, and one of her best friends

He had short brown hair that he kept just long enough to push to one side, and deep brown eyes. He had a narrow face, clean shaven, the dimples in his cheeks showing when he smiled.

He was in good shape from various activities Audrey knew he did on the weekends, ones he was always trying to get her to come with him on. In Audrey's mind he would have been a perfect candidate for public office, but he had preferred to work behind the scenes.

There was one other thing about Mike that Audrey tried her best to ignore, which was that Mike liked and cared for her as more than just a partner and co-worker.

It was no secret that he was interested in her; it seemed that everyone in the office could knew and felt bad that he was wasting his time.

It was a well known fact among her co-workers that Audrey Raines didn't date anyone. Ever.

It was one of the biggest mysteries of the office. There was no ring on her finger and she never mentioned a boyfriend. Rumor was that her husband had died and that she had never quite gotten over the loss.

Of course this didn't stop the men in the office from asking her out. She was still one of the hottest women there, a fact she neither knew nor cared about.

No one though had asked her out on dates more than Mike, who the more he got to know Audrey, felt that all she needed was a little push.

"_You look like you need a drink" Mike said leaning against her office door._

_Audrey looked up quickly, startled. For a second she had thought he was... but he wasn't and now Mike was waiting for her to answer. _

_She thought about her options, going home to an empty apartment or having a drink at a bar with her employee. It was not the first time she had had to make this decision, so how come it was so hard to say no this time?_

"_I... I have to finish up this report for tomorrow" she said, hoping that he'd leave it at that. _

_He sensed her discomfort and turned to leave "Right, some other time then"_

Audrey sat in her desk chair sipping her coffee, thinking about how coffee had never tasted as good since... well since her last co-worker had... left.

Mike said something, breaking her from her thoughts.

"I asked how your day could already be going bad when you just got to work" Mike repeated for her.

Audrey thought of the vividness of the her dream, how real it all seemed.

"I didn't get much sleep last night" she replied, not giving him any more detail than that.

He nodded, having learned when not to press her for more information than she wanted to give.

"Well you better drink that coffee then because today is going to be a long day"

Mike took his seat across from her and rolled up his sleeves, Audrey couldn't help but whisper under her breath, "you have no idea".

12:36 pm

Mike came into Audrey's office just as she was putting on her coat.

"Oh hey, you on your way to lunch, because I was just coming by to ask you if you wanted to go to the cafe down the street with me. It's an awesome place they have the best food in D.C. I swear"

His eyes begged her to say yes, even though he must have known what the answer would be before he even asked.

Audrey smiled sadly, relieved that for once she wouldn't be lying to him as she turned him down.

"Thanks but I've already made plans with Jen and Sarah"

Mike let the hurt show on his face before masking it with a look of irritation, but didn't say anything. Audrey noticed the change in him immediately, because Mike was never one to be quiet. He would say what was on his mind, good or bad and right then he looked like he wanted to do just that.

She could tell he was upset with her, disappointed even, and as much as she hated to upset him she had done it once again.

Audrey knew what he wanted from her, but she just didn't think she had it in her to be in a relationship with him.

She was keeping her distance from him, they both knew it. She could see herself with him, she could see herself laughing with him and crying into his arms. She could even see herself loving him one day, ready to let go of the past and finally move on. So why couldn't she get herself to give him a chance? Why couldn't she just say "screw it" and jump into his arms? It had been what, six years since she had fallen in love with someone? Surely that would be long enough to move on.

Suddenly a tension filled the room as their eyes locked on each other. All it would take was even the slightest movement on her part, a sign that he still had a chance with her. And for a second there, a single moment, Audrey debated making that move. It was as if she were standing on a cliff debating if she should jump.

There was a light tapping on the door frame followed by Jen as she came into the room, and the moment was broken.

"Ready to go?" Jen asked staring between the two.

Audrey nodded not saying anything and walked out into the hallway, not missing the way his eyes followed her out.

12:48 pm

"So what was going on in your office with Mike before I showed up?" Jen asked rolling pasta onto a fork.

Audrey was busy picking through her salad, suddenly uninterested in it. "Nothing he just... he asked me to lunch again"

Sarah shook her head chuckling. "He's never going to take the hint is he?"

Audrey looked up sadly at them both, biting her lip.

Jen gave her friend a look that said for her to drop it. In response, Sarah widened her eyes as if to say "well than you say something"

"Look I'm not saying that you should give Mike a chance because I think you need someone in your life" Jen finally said.

Audrey smirked, because usually that's exactly what she would say. "Oh no?"

"No, I'm saying you should give him a chance because I think you like him too. I think that you just don't want to admit it"

Audrey shook her head picking again at her salad with her fork, trying to hide the truth in her face.

"Audrey come on, you have to feel something for the man... he's attractive, smart, funny, he's like the perfect guy..."

Audrey didn't say anything, unable to disprove anything she just said.

"...unless the reason your holding out has nothing to do with him"

Audrey continued to stare down at her plate already knowing and dreading the conversation that was about to unfold.

"Oh my god, please tell me you're not still waiting for _Him_ to come back!" Jen yelled, startling people at nearby tables.

Audrey looked up flustered "What no of course not!"

Jen considered this for a moment before asking, "You are aren't you? Audrey come on now this is getting a bit ridiculous"

Sarah looks on, confused. "Wait who is she waiting for?"

"No one, can we not talk about this please" Audrey begged, not exactly wanting to discuss her train wreck of a love life.

"Does Dr. Richardson know about this because if not I'm sure it's something she'd like to hear.

Jen was concerned for her best friend, having been there for the worst, and having seen her at her worst. She had known Audrey since college when the two had been roommates and had even worked with her and Jack those six months they were together.

"I'm not waiting for _him _okay? And I've told Dr. Richardson everything by now trust me. Can we please just not talk about this anymore?" Audrey said growing desperate.

"Who's him? Oh you mean Ja..." Jen slapped her hand over Sarah's mouth to shut her up before she could say anything else

The table grew quiet as Audrey locked eyes with Jen, the fear showing in her eyes.

Jen knew better than to push the topic further and quickly changed directions.

"Fine, but I still think you like Mark as more than a partner, and I think it'd be stupid for you to waste one more moment denying that"

Audrey paused a second before nodding.

"Fine your right, I'll ask him if he wants to come out with us tonight for drinks"

"Good"

"Good"

Sarah pushed Jen's hand away, a smile already on her face. "Seems like girls night just got a bit more interesting. First rounds on me, we'll meet at seven"

6:55 pm

Audrey looked at herself in her mirror as she fastened bracelets around her wrists hiding her scars. She was wearing a silky black tank top with a long necklace, dark jeans, and black high heels. Her hair was down and straight and her makeup was simple with just a touch of eye shadow to give her eyes a smokey look.

It was something she would've worn on a date years ago with a different man, and for a moment she let herself think about him for the first time in a long time.

"_I was wondering..." He stopped, his fingers tapping against his leg as he tried to decide on something._

_Standing there just then, he reminded Audrey of a boy, afraid to ask the girl to the school dance. It made her smile, as she tilted her head to the side, leaning against her desk. _

"_You were wondering?" She said in a sultry voice, encouraging him to finish. She could tell what he wanted to ask her, the electricity between them had been growing for months. They had both wanted to cross that line, but neither had known how to or even if they should until now._

_Jack looked up at her, a smirk already on his face. "I was wondering if you would like to come to dinner with me" _

_Slowly, she walked towards him, her hips swaying as she crossed the room._

_She stopped in front of him, just inches away, her eyes locked on his. _

"_Lead the way" She said grabbing her coat from behind him. He helped her into it, his hand lingering on the small of her back as he led her out of the building. _

_That night had gone well, better than well even, it had been great. They had gone to the Lantern the small café that had once been a small inn for Union soldier's wives to stay and wait for their husbands to return from battle. It was small and cozy, with dimmed lighting and low ceilings. _

_They had talked about everything and nothing it seemed, but there was never a lull or awkward moment in the conversation. _

_At the end of the night he had brought her home, walked her to her door, leaned in, and had gently kissed her on the check and whispered "goodnight", smirking at the shocked look on her face. Slightly taken aback and annoyed Audrey just watched him as he turned and walked down her porch steps. It took her a moment to regain herself before calling out to him in the calmest voice she could manage, "Jack, I believe you forgot something". Jack stopped staring at her suspiciously at first, but her expression didn't falter. Once he was close enough, she grabbed onto his coat pulling him towards her. Without knowing how it happened their lips met, his hand coming up to cup her cheek, the other wrapping around her waist. For months now they had felt it, some force pulling them together. They had tried to fight it, but all that had come crashing down last week. And now here they were locked in each others arms, neither wanting to separate. Audrey had been fantasizing about this moment, wondering how it would be like kissing him, him holding her in his arms. The reality of it though was so much better. He kissed softly, letting her get just a taste of him before moving away much too soon. _

_Audrey tried pulling him towards her again, but he just smirked, kissing her on the forehead, slipping one of her hands into his. _

"_I should go" he said leaning his forehead against hers now. Looking up at him, she could see the want in his eyes. "Do you have to?" She didn't want him to leave for anything, she couldn't explain it but knew it would hurt to let him go tonight._

_He chuckled a little loving the way her eyes turned golden in the light of her porch. "I'll see you tomorrow"_

_With that he left her standing on her porch, wondering how he had just managed to go home alone. Any other guy wouldn't have hesitated to follow her inside, but she knew Jack, or at least she thought she did. Normally she would be offended by a guy not taking her up on her offer, but she could tell he wanted her as much as she wanted him. It was only a matter of time before he broke his resolve, and Audrey was all too happy to take the challenge. _

Even now she could hear his soft raspy voice in her ear whispering those words. She could feel the places where his hands had been; could smell his cologne mixed with a hint of his aftershave. Most of all she could picture him, the memory of him so burnt into her mind that she could even recall the faint stubble on his chin and the way he would look at her that made her heart beat faster.

She felt a tear fall down her cheek and quickly wiped it off. She stopped thinking about him then, trying hard not to remember those days.

So maybe she had subconsciously been waiting for him all these years, how could she not? She had fallen so deeply in love with him, that she had done literally everything to get him back.

How does someone move on from that?

Sniffling, she moved a piece of fallen hair from her face, took one last look in the mirror and grabbed her keys before heading out the door.

This chapter set me back a couple days, I apologize. I wrote it over last summer so it needed some definite fixing before I could post it. Don't worry present day Jack and present day Audrey are coming together next chapter, I just need some more fine tuning.


	3. Chapter 2 A little less last dance

Ah I remember the good old days when, you may not believe this, but there were at least ten pages of J&A stories. I say that because now there are what 26 stories total on one page? Kills me it really does. Lucky for you I have another story, kind of old now but still good in my mind called Last Dance if you haven't read it already. I bring it up because I'm using the same song for this chapter because I love it and it's amazing.

Shutting up...

Chapter 2- "A Little Less 'Last Dance', a Little More 'Someday'"

"_**Oh lover, hold on, till I come back again. For these arms are getting tired and my tales are wearing thin. If your patient, I will surprise, when you wake up, I'll have come. All the anger will settle down and we'll go do all of the things we should have done. Yes I remember what we said as we laid down to bed, I'll be here if only you would come back home."**_

_**-Duet by Rachael Yamagata.**_

Her cell phone rang in the pocket of the jeans she wore the night before, but it went unanswered.

"_Hey" he whispers, kissing her temple. She grins happily, burying her head into his shoulder, breathing him in._

_There's music in the background, something she can't make out but she doesn't care._

_Its morning and they're lying in bed together, wrapped in each others arms. His fingers run through her hair as she pulls him closer._

"_Are you going to get up anytime soon?" He asks kissing the top of her head._

_She moves her head no, not wanting to move even the slightest inch._

_He smirks feeling her lips on his chest. "I'll be back" he says, his tone is light, like it's the simplest thing he's ever said, like the times he's said it before hadn't led to him doing the very opposite._

"_You won't" she mumbles into him clutching his shirt, afraid that he'll disappear if she lets go of the soft fabric. He's said this before, far too many times. She knows what happens next, he says he'll be right back and as soon as she lets him go he disappears, and she wakes up alone in a different bed, in a different house._

_The music in the background grows louder, deliberate, calling for her._

_He pulls her away a little so that he can see her face. "Trust me" he says calmly moving so that he could get up._

_In this dream she can see every line on his face, she can smell his scent of his cologne, feel the touch of his skin, see the stubble on his cheek. She knows it's all in her head, but still the thought of him leaving leaves a hole in the pit of her stomach. _

"_Jack" she cries, desperate now. He leans over the bed and kisses her on the forehead. Instinctively she clutches his shirt and he covers his right hand with hers. Together they look down at the combination of their two hands, the scarred back of his hand starring up at her. _

"_Not for one second" his whispers looking into her eyes, making sure she understands the meaning behind it._

_The music is even louder now and suddenly there's a knocking sound somewhere._

_Audrey looks up at him her eyes wide, as he disappears._

"_Jack!" She cries out once more. _

She wakes up with a start looking around the room for him, tears running down her face, his name still on her lips.

Finally she hears her phone ringing and gets out of bed. She sits up too quickly, feeling the effects of last night's drinks and suddenly everything starts to spin.

The light coming through the window is far too bright, hurting her eyes and making her head feel worse, but she has to get to her phone if only to turn it off.

Reaching it, she presses the answer button lifting the phone to her ear cautiously.

"Ugh Jen this better be good_" _she said, her throat burning.

Jen laughed on the other line. "So how's that hangover? I'm guessing you haven't seen the time yet". Audrey found her alarm clock and saw that it was already 6:35 and that she was going to be late for work. "I'm calling in sick" Audrey said lying back down on her bed with a groan."The hell you are, you're the one that decided to down tequila last night and besides you have that big meeting today". Audrey groaned again remembering the meeting David told her about yesterday.

A knocking sound from her front door echoed through her apartment.

"Hold on Jen, someone's at the door" Audrey's said irritably. Whoever decided it was acceptable to be banging on her door at six in the morning was in for a reality check.

Audrey checked herself in the mirror to make sure she didn't look too much like she had been crying. Satisfied with her appearance, she opened the door to find Jen standing there with a tray of coffee in one hand and her phone in the other.

Shutting the door behind her, Audrey gave Jen a dirty look before taking a coffee.

They moved into Audrey's small apartment kitchen leaning against the counter top.

"What?" Audrey snapped finally annoyed at her friend's starring. Jen had been smirking at her since Audrey had opened the door. "Well aren't you pleasant this morning, did you forget about our plans to meet for an early breakfast twenty minutes ago?" Audrey put her cup down to run her hands over her face.

"I'm sorry, I over slept. This is the last time I drink tequila, it never leads to anything good".

"Hmm" Jen said the smile on her face growing as she grabbed her cup of coffee and lifted it to her lips, "like kissing Mike?"

Audrey stopped moving for a few seconds letting these words sink in. Her dream was still too fresh in her mind for her to really comprehend anything this morning.

"What?"

"Last night, at the bar, while you were flirting with Mike and sucking down tequila, you grabbed him and made out with him for a good long while before we got you a cab and took you home"

Audrey still didn't move, the words not making sense this early. She didn't remember that, she remembered going to the bar, and for some reason she couldn't keep her mind off of _Him_, then Sarah ordered shots of Tequila, and then later on...

"Oh my god" she said looking up at Jen who was now struggling to keep from cracking up. "Please tell me that I didn't do that" She said desperately. The last thing she had wanted to do was get drunk and make out with Mike. "Oh you did, you were very enthusiastic about it too. If you hadn't passed out I wouldn't have been surprised if he had ended up in your bed last night"

Suddenly a vague recollection of the night entered Audrey's mind.

"_Are you alright?" Mike said breaking her thoughts. He was worried about her; she had barely spoken a word since she had come into the bar. "Sorry, I'm just distracted" She said truthfully. Lately for some reason she couldn't keep another man off her mind._

"_You seem to be distracted a lot lately. What's wrong?" Here he was being supportive and nice and perfect and she couldn't even give him ten minutes of her attention. She felt horrible stringing him along like this, enough was enough._

_Grabbing the shot of tequila Sarah had just passed out, she quickly threw it back feeling it burn down her throat."I just want you to know... I'm messed up. Like really messed up" _

_Mike raised an eyebrow at her clearly amused at her sudden lack of restraint._

"_Oh really?"_

"_I work too much, I eat too little, I don't go out that often..." __"All those are true" Mike said smirking, causing Audrey to glare at him. She took another shot, feeling the effects of it starting to make her fuzzy."I'm afraid of the dark, loud noises, bright lights, and hospitals though there are probably twenty other things I can't think of right now"_

_Another shot."I see a therapist every week, I avoid my over-bearing father at all costs, I haven't been in a relationship in like... forever" "Is that all?" Mike said listening to her ramble on "sounds like you're making an eHarmony profile"_

_Another shot. _

"_Well see, that's the thing" Audrey said, definitely feeling a haze starting "I don't really need an e...whatever, because I may or may not have feelings for you. Not that I would ever tell you, because like I said I'm messed up"_

_Mike looked startled for a moment but quickly recovered, quite pleased with this recent development. "You have feelings for me?"_

"_Ok so maybe I do, crap. I don't know. This is why I don't drink" Audrey swayed a little bit, grabbing his arm to steady herself."All I know is that you're so nice, and really cute but you should know that I'm messed up and..."_

_She stopped, stared at his lips mesmerized, and suddenly for a moment she couldn't help herself. She kissed him hard, her hands locking around his neck._

That was the last thing she remembered.

Audrey felt ready to throw up, or pass out, or something.

"This is your fault" she said pointing her coffee at Jen accusingly.

"Hey all I said was to give him a chance, not shove your tongue down his throat; you did that all on your own" Jen checked her watch "and now you're going to make us extremely late for work"

Audrey left the kitchen to shower and get ready for what was shaping up to be the worst day ever. It seemed to be the theme this week.

7:10 am

Audrey and Jen walked into the DOD building an hour later than usual, Audrey with dark sunglasses on and Jen still teasing her about the night before.

Jen stopped in front of her office as Audrey kept walking, debating whether or not she could still get away with calling in sick.

"Say hi to Mike for me" Jen said. Audrey just kept walking as a sickening feeling started to creep up in her stomach.

Audrey made her way into her office, sinking into her chair. After a moment she turned on her laptop, still thinking about what had happened last night.

She hadn't gone to the bar with the intention of starting something with Mike. She had gone mainly to make her friends happy, so that they wouldn't bring up the topic of her not being able to move on again. Now it that it was starting to sink in she realized she would have to make a choice to either continue this with Mike or end it all together.

He was one of the closest friends she had, and he had never done anything to hurt her. She trusted him, and that was a hard thing to come by these days.

He was perfect for her, and was attracted to her; in fact he possibly even loved her, and yet she couldn't... she couldn't let go. But now she was stuck with the fact that after last night they couldn't go back to being just friends, he would never agree to it.

Her mind felt like it was spinning with all different thoughts swirling around in her head, mostly because of her hang over, but also because those words from her dream kept replaying over in her mind. _"Not for one second"_ he had said after he had told her that he had never stopped loving her.

Sighing, she closed her eyes. She tried not to remember those things from her past, it would be better if she had just put it all behind her.

4:32 pm

Dave had called a few minutes ago to tell her that their big meeting would be at 4:45. She assumed that something big must be happening since Dave had taken Mike into his office this morning and the two had barely left since. Not caring enough really to go find out, Audrey had kept to her office all day looking over new bills and budgets trying to work something out for the project her and Mike were working on that was starting to feel more and more like a lost cause.

It was a good thing too that she had not seen Mike all day, because she still had no idea what she planned to say to him when she did see him, but whatever it was she knew it would change everything.

Five minutes later she found Jen outside her office waiting to go to the meeting with her. Jen noticed instantly that something was different about her friend from this morning. Her annoyed yet playful mood had been replaced with anxiety and despair. "Is everything okay?" she asked watching as Audrey rubbed her wrist absently. "Yeah, I'm... let's just get through this meeting" Audrey replied following Jen into the conference room.

She instantly saw Mike sitting alone at the conference table looking through a red folder. Mikes eyes were focused on her the moment she stepped in the room. He knew last night had changed things, and was hoping she would be okay with it. He needed her to be okay with it. "Hi" he said smiling faintly. She glanced up at him, finally meeting his eyes.

She glanced up at him, finally meeting his eyes and smiling somewhat in reply, but he could quickly see that something was different with her.

She took one of the folders from the middle of the table and opened it herself, surprised to see that it was the exact same project she had just been working on. That could only mean that her and Mike were going to get another speech about how important this was to their boss etc.

As she was mentally preparing a defense for why the project was still going south, she heard Jen gasp beside her and followed her gaze to the hallway.

One time when she was a young girl her brother had been pushing her on the tire swing in the front yard. They used to take turns pushing each other as high as they could, until they could go no higher and would switch places. On one particular hard push she had lost her grip on the rope and had fallen off the swing landing on her back. She could remember seeing the sky overhead, blue as anything with only a few clouds. She went to take a breath but nothing happened, and she panicked at the realization she couldn't breathe. By then her father had run out of the house after seeing the whole thing happen and had swooped her up into her arms. The seconds that followed seemed like hours as she struggled to breathe, tears now streaming down her face, until at least she could feel the air rush into her lungs.

That was exactly how she felt now as she saw in the hallway where she had come from only moments ago, the man that haunted her dreams every night, walking with her boss.

He was in a white button up shirt; his sleeves were already rolled up his arm and his black tie with thin white stripes was loose at the neck. He had dark gray khaki pants on and black low cut boots. She looked up at his face, surprised to find the familiar stubble longer than usual. His hair was longer too, still pushed lazily to one side, uncombed and sticking out in places.

Suddenly the scene in front of her switched to another time and place.

"_Thank god you're safe" she said finally reaching him from across the stream of workers. "everything's gonna be alright"_

Audrey felt the color fade completely from her face, and was glad to be sitting, as she watched him come closer, his attention still focused on whatever Dave was saying.

"_Jack when I heard you kidnapped the president I..." "I was just trying to get him to give me a direct confession"_

She still wasn't sure if she was breathing or not. Her heart beat loudly in her ears silencing Mike's as he called out to her.

"_Jack... how much longer do you need to stay here?" "Not much longer they can debrief me tomorrow" "Are you sure?" _

Jen grabbed her hand and for the first time she realized how much she was shaking.

Mike noticed it too and stood up to help her. He hadn't noticed the man walking in besides his boss.

"_I can't believe your really... your really here"_

Audrey gave Jen a warning look that said she couldn't do this and they both stood up at the same time, ready to try and flee, just as the door opened.

"_I'll be right back I promise" "Take as long as you need I'm not going anywhere"_

Dave came in, happy and cheerful as always, greeting Mike first. Audrey closed her eyes trying to focus on her breathing. She clutched the table for support_._

"_I love you, I'll be right back."_

What seemed like hours was only a few seconds as Jack followed Dave inside.

She looked at him quickly, afraid to meet his eyes.

He looked calm and composed, like he was expecting this, although she could see from there that his fingers and thumb rubbing against each other. It was the only indication he gave that he was just as tense as she was.

"Oh good, you're all here. I thought after last night two of you would be late" Dave said jokingly looking between Audrey and Mike. Jen still had a hold of Audrey's hand, while she wondered quickly if she would be able to get Audrey past Jack and out of the room before she passed out.

"As you know, it's been crazy around here. The press has been all over this office after the debacle with Senator Thomas, so I decided to call in some backup. Everyone this is Jack Bauer."

His name echoed through Audrey's mind, her heart constricting each moment they were in that room. She could feel his eyes on her as she focused her eyes strictly on her boss.

"Jack this is Mike Dempsey, one of my senior analysts" Jack seemed to hesitate a moment before shaking the man's hand firmly, not missing the way his eyes seemed to wander worriedly over to Audrey.

"And this is Jen, I believe the two of you have met before" Jen let go of Audrey to shake his hand which in the end led to two things happening. "Jack" she said nodding while trying to motion with her eyes the attack Audrey was about to have.

Meanwhile Audrey had caught the sight of his hand, specifically that hand, and it all became too real. Without Jen keeping her standing, she could feel herself start to faint, all noise leaving the room in an instant.

The last thing she remembered was that before anyone else had even moved, he already had her in his arms, then everything went black.

**Two chapters in one night, crazy I know. A couple things about this chapter, one being I did actually fall out of a tree once like that and thought I was dead, and two I'm not sure if this would be what you'd call a story book reunion but it's the best I could come up with. **


	4. Chapter 3 Since We're Here Anyway

**I've been getting some awesome reviews from you guys, so I just wanted to say thank you so much! This one took me a little longer just because I wanted certain scenes to be perfect (meaning I had to watch a few episodes as a reference... and for my own personal well being lol)**

Chapter 3- "Since We're Here Anyway"

"_**Well I'd hoped that since we're here anyway, we could end up saying things we've always needed to say, so we could end up staying"**_

_**-Someday- Nickelback**_

_It was dark, alarms were going off as he led her down some corridor. He had finally come for her a few minutes ago, saving her from yet another torture session, and apparently now they were escaping. He brought her into one of the rooms, but upon a quick examination she realized that there was no way out, but he was already working on dismantling the lock. She knew that eventually they would break down the door from the other side, it was only a matter of time. _

_Jack made his way to her at the far side of the room. "It's alright, It's alright I'm here, I'm here, I'm not going anywhere" he whispered, holding her softly as they both knelt on the floor. "I'm going to protect you, I'm going to take care of you, I promise". The sound of his voice so full of worry made her ever more sacred. She didn't know if this was another delusion or not. Everything was getting mixed up in her head that she wasn't sure if it was real. _

_He was talking to her now, but she couldn't hear any of it, none of it was making sense. "Your mother's name was Alicia, she died when you were nine" She looked up at him then, hearing her mother's name. "Please Audrey just try and remember" She tried, but it was all foggy. "I want them to pay for what they've done" He says and suddenly it weighs on her, everything she went through in the past six months. He moves the hair from face, placing his hand against her cheek, laying her own hand on top. Her eyes close as she leans into his touch. _

"_I know what you've been through" he whispers leaning his forehead against hers. "I know what it's like to feel like it's never going to end. To hate them that much and then need them". She looks at him sadly, wanting just for it to be over, for all this to be over. "Stop blaming yourself for everything that's happening to you, but they can't hurt you anymore, you don't need to hide now it's over"_

_She wanted to believe him, she wanted him to take her away with him, god that's all she wanted._

Audrey made it to the sidewalk before stopping to run a shaky hand through her hair, the other placed on her hip. She had grabbed neither her keys nor purse before leaving out the same doors she had come through this morning.

She knew that someone would follow her, it was just a matter of when and who would get to her first. She really couldn't do anything except wait, seeing as though she would be going back inside anyways.

There were so many emotions going through her that she didn't know which one she wanted first. All she knew was that she wanted to run away, the feeling inside her so song that she felt it crushing her. Seeing him had mad it all too real, had made all the pain and heartache too real. She wanted to run, but the person she wanted to run to, the person who she always wanted to run too, was the same person she was trying to get away from in the first place.

This morning she had decided to move on, and now here he was.

A minute ago Audrey had woken up in the chair she had been sitting in earlier. She felt tired and shaky, vaguely aware that someone was holding her hand. At first everything was blurry but soon she started to make out the figures in the room.

Jen was pulling the shades down in the office to block the view from the hallway, while Dave spoke softly to Mike as he walked into the room then with a glass of water, setting it down on the conference table.

"When was the last time she ate something" someone had asked, the sounds in the room seeming far away to Audrey who struggled to sit up. The question was addressed mostly to Mike, who caught off guard, shrugged. It was Jen who finally answered, a shocked look coming onto her face. "Oh shoot, I totally forgot... we've been so busy I completely forgot. I don't think she's eaten anything since yesterday at lunch..." "Why what's wrong with her?" Mike interrupted clearly confused as he stared from Audrey to the stranger kneeling beside her.

"She's anemic, she'll pass out if she doesn't eat anything all day"

Audrey's eyes focused on the person beside her holding her hand. For a moment she thought that she was hallucinating, until she realized that everyone else would have to be hallucinating too. To be sure, she stroked the top of his hand lightly with her thumb.

Jack turned suddenly at the contact, locking eyes with her. For a moment they were stuck there, the first time they had really looked at each other in over four years. Her lips parted, as if ready to say something, but she closed them again before looking away, directing her question to Mike.

"How long was I out?" she asked while gently moving her hand away from Jack's. His hand lingered on her knee for a moment before he stood up and answered for him, "only about a minute"

She nodded as the room was cast in an uneasy silence.

Dave was the first to speak, motioning to Jack and Audrey. "Well since you two have obviously met I think that's it for introductions. We can continue this when you're feeling better Audrey"

Audrey stood up slowly, aware of the half step Jack had taken to her, ready to catch her again.

"I'm fine really, I would like to know however why you've suddenly decided to increase your staff" Dave smiled laying his suitcase back on the table. "Jack and I were in the service together for about a year, until he got recruited for some mission. Now that he's living in D.C. He came to see me yesterday, and I hired him"

Somehow it didn't surprise her that by her luck her boss would just happen to know him and offer him a job on the spot.

"I still don't understand what this has to do with me" she said as coldly as possible. If this was some game he was playing, she didn't want any part of it.

Dave paused nervously looking to Mike who quickly ducked his head. "It's okay we can wait until your feeling better"

He was obviously avoiding the question but she saw right through it. "I'm feeling fine, so you mine as well tell me now" Dave paused again before making up his mind. "I'm putting Mike on solo to manage our movements in Libya"

"And the defense weapons project?" she asked, even though she had a feeling where this was going.

Dave picked up his briefcase again, walking over to pat Jack on the back. "I'm taking you off Mike's service and I'm leaving that to you and Jack to fix. The two of you managed to do very well together while working for your father, I have no doubt you'll be able to do it again"

He turned to leave but Audrey stopped him, "So he's my new partner?" Dave nodded "yes, but I'm so sorry I just remembered I had a meeting with senator Grafton. If you'd like I'd be glad to talk to you about this later Audrey"

Senator Grafton? If she wasn't mistaken the man was on vacation in Florida. "No that's alright". She made sure he had left before leaning one had against the table.

Mike finally made his way to her, touching her arm gently. "Look Audrey I'm really sorry, I didn't know he was going to take you off the other project". The project she had just spent months working on, gathering intel, trying to work out a budget, all of it for nothing. "I get it Mike really, you did what you had to do" she gritted out trying to keep her emotions in check. She pulled away from his touch, her eyes daring him to say something more.

The tension in the room was building again, but suddenly it was too much to take.

"I can't do this right now" she finally said pushing past both men, practically running to the elevators and through the lobby.

Now she stood, waiting, trying to make sense of what had just happened. She could sense someone come to stand just behind her. Without having to look she already knew who had followed her, and wasn't exactly surprised by it. "Audrey..." he started, his voice shaking slightly with emotion. The way he said her name sent shivers down her spine; it was the first time she'd heard him say it in years.

"Don't" she whispered, wiping away a tear she didn't know had fallen. He dropped his head and closed his eyes, fighting every urge he had to grab her and hold her in his arms. "I honestly didn't know I'd be working with you, that was all David's idea. I just needed a way to get into the building. I can tell him I can't do it if you want"

"Planning something?" she asked, avoiding his question. "Not exactly. Your a hard person to find you know, this was the only way I could get to you". Audrey shook her head, her back still to him. "Couldn't have been that hard, I still work in the same place, live in the same house..."

"I went by the house first, and you weren't there. I didn't want to surprise you like this at work, it just happened that way". He waited for her to respond before grabbing her arm lightly. "Audrey will you just look at me? Please?"

She turned around, pulling away from him as she did, their eyes locking. "What do you want from me? You come back after all these years and for what?" He hesitated, a little taken back but he didn't seem surprised, like he had expected this. "I wanted to see you, make sure that you were okay"

Audrey paused, she didn't know whether to laugh, cry, or just wind up and hit him. "Since when do you care? You're the one who left"

Jack took a step towards her, hurt and anger flashing in his eyes. It threw her off for a second, as it struck her as the same look he had worn while interrogating her. "Is that what your father told you? That I didn't care enough to stay?"

"Does it matter what he said? Does it change anything?" she countered, less intimidated now. "Maybe not" He said he said closing his eyes.

For the first time she looked at him, really looked at him. He had grown his hair out a little longer than she had previous seen, and she could tell he hadn't bothered to shave in a while, as the usual stubble had grown out more. He was tanner too, maybe from months spent in a desert somewhere. Physically he looked fine, a little thinner than she remembered, but for the most part he still looked like Jack. There was something about him though that felt off. He seemed almost broken in a way, the tiredness showing in his eyes.

"If you want me to leave I will. I'll go now that I've seen that your okay. I just couldn't go another day not knowing..." he trailed off "say it and I'll go"

Panic replaced anger as she saw the seriousness in his face. The thought of him leaving again hurt her worse than any physical pain could. It may be easy for her to say she wouldn't "We start tomorrow at six am. If we're going to make this project work, it's going to take some serious time, and I'm not wasting another day bringing you up to speed"

With that she left him standing on the street corner. He knew that giving her an ultimatum was cruel, but he had to know if she still even felt the slightest bit for him. Her refusal to send him away had told him everything she hadn't said.

20 minutes later...

Audrey threw her purse onto the brown leather couch in the office before letting herself fall onto it too, sighing as she did. Dr. Sue Richardson turned around in her computer chair, a pair of glasses on her short brown hair apparently forgotten there. "Make yourself at home then" she said sarcastically throwing a pillow at her.

Audrey caught it, smiling slightly before falling into a somber silence, which didn't go unnoticed by the therapist. "I'm sorry did we have an appointment today? Because I was sure it was wasn't until next week..."

"He's back"

"Who's back, your father? Is he giving you a hard time again because I could straighten him out... again"

Audrey shook her head, staring at the same picture of the ocean she had come to memorize over the last couple years. The therapist caught where she was looking and then it clicked.

"Audrey..." she started then stopped, then started again "Audrey we've talked about the delusions, it's normal for them to happen every now and then even this many years later"

Audrey was confused at first until she realized what she was getting at. "I'm not having a delusion, he is really back. Not only that, but I apparently work with him now"

Dr. Richardson could only stare at her favorite patient in shock for a moment a distant memory coming to mind.

Sue Richardson had been asked to act as a consult on Ms. Raines case by a fellow therapist. She herself had spent three weeks in a Afghan prison camp after being kidnapped while trying to help American soldiers with PTSD in the field. After that post traumatic stress disorder had become sort of her specialty in D.C., a specialty that was thoroughly tested when two government agents had kindly escorted her in to a top secret room at the hospital. She was given a file to read about the patient, including medical history, work history, and even personal history. Apparently the women had been in China on diplomatic reasons, working for the release of a prisoner, or at least that's what the file had said anyways. She had come back catatonic, showing severe PTSD among other things.

She was told that all of this would be kept extremely confidential, that she wouldn't even be allowed to take notes of any kind. She entered the room, wondering what exactly she would be dealing with, and found Audrey.

_The first thing she noticed was the way she had looked at her when she first came in. It was a look of helplessness, begging her to take her away from this place. Audrey whispered something before turning again to stare at the wall._

"_What did she say?" she asked one of the guards. "she keeps saying Jack mam, it's all she says"_

_Dr. Richardson went to sit down in the chair opposite the woman. As she slid it back, it made a terrible sound echoing through the small bright room. Audrey cringed, bringing her knees closer towards her. "Right sorry" Sue whispered settling down. She watched as Audrey's eyes focused on her, squinting as she did so. "Do you think you can turn the lights down a bit?" She said addressing the guards "and then you may help yourself out of the room thanks". She knew it was a daring move, but she held her stance with a glare and the two men left. "Okay Audrey, I'm Dr. Richardson" getting no response she tried a different tactic "I've worked with a lot of people who had been in prison camps, I myself was in one, but I've never heard of anyone that went to the camp you did for six months and make it out alive". Sue paused letting the next part sink in "Jack must be one hell of a guy for you to go through all that trouble to save him"_

_Audrey looked at her quickly at the mention of his name and then faded out again. _

"_It's quite romantic actually, the whole thing. There's just one part of the story that I'm missing. Where's Jack now?"_

_After reading the woman's file, she had seen the various treatments she had gone through, everything from shock therapy to hypnosis, even drug therapy. Eight months of therapy, and the one thing it seemed no previous therapist had tried though was by using Jack. The file had said that the two of them had been involved, and said that he had made it out of China safely, but there was no mention of his current whereabouts. She figured he was probably around somewhere, and if no one else had tried having him in on the sessions, maybe it was about time she did. _

"_Audrey, where is Jack?" she repeated. Audrey seemed to be thinking about it for a moment, her hands twisting together. Finally she looked at her, a tear rolling down her face. "Gone" _

_From her file Dr. Richardson knew it was probably the first word she had spoken in six months. She almost smiled at her achievement, until she remembered what had caused her to speak in the first place. Gone?_

"_Do you know where he went?"_

_Audrey shook her head no._

_For someone who was supposedly unresponsive, Audrey was clearly answering the questions. Could it be possible that Audrey wasn't unresponsive but severely depressed? She couldn't imagine that this Jack guy would leave her after she had gone to China for him, but then where was he. _

_Audrey started to slip back into her quiet resolve on now she began rocking back and forth, muttering again._

_One of the agents opened the door, signaling that her time was up for now._

"_Okay I just have one last question for you today Audrey, and then we can pick this up again some other day"_

_Audrey seemed to watch her tiredly. Dr. Richardson smirked, pointing to the door "Is the whole secret agent thing as hot as it sounds? You know, the whole James Bond thing, because if so I'm taking tall dark and handsome home with me"_

_Audrey smiled, even laughing a little. She tilted her head to look at the man in question, and nodded. "Definitely"_

_Dr. Richardson left the room, winking at Agent Landis as she walked by. The other agent, obviously in charge asked her if she would be taking the case. She knew that this would be no ordinary case, that it would take years of sessions, but she wanted to take it all the same. "Yes but if you don't mind, next time bring her to my office. There's no need for the cold, bright, room, this isn't an interrogation, she's had enough of those I'm sure. _

"He's really back huh? Well did you see him, did you talk with him?" Audrey told her everything that had happened since yesterday morning, when she had that dream of the two of them.

"He didn't say why he was back? Or more importantly, why he left?" Audrey went over their conversation again in her head. "He said he wanted to make sure I was okay, that he didn't leave because he didn't care... I don't know"

"Do you know what your going to do now?" Sue asked excited yet worried about these recent developments.

Audrey bit her lip, she had been fearing this question. "I don't know. I honestly have no idea"

1:13 am

Audrey couldn't sleep. All day after her therapy session, she had spent reading or doing work on her laptop, she had even gone jogging, anything to keep her busy.

But as soon as she had lain down to go to bed, all she could think about was Jack. She tried not to, but she couldn't help knowing that the next day she would see him again and would have to act like being around him didn't affect her.

Because it did, and in so many different ways.

So now there she was, parked outside her old house that she paid for but didn't live in.

She had stayed in the house up until she had left for China to look for Jack, and her father had kept the house while he thought she was dead simply because he hadn't wanted to deal with it. Now since she had started living alone again, she only spent the night every now and then, meaning nights like tonight where she just didn't feel like trying to keep her thoughts of him away.

The house on bellevue held too many memories of when she and Jack were together, simply because they had spent more time here together than anywhere else.

She took a deep breathe before making her way up the porch stairs to the door. She found her key and opening the door, she quickly remembered why she didn't like coming back. Even from the hallway, everything reminds her of him, from the picture frame in the hallway where the glass is still broken (from him pushing her against it) to the flight information still on her dining room table.

She turned on the light and went into the kitchen, throwing her keys on the counter out of habit. She stared around the room, as memory after memory played in her head. Her hands started to shake, and she made her way upstairs into their bedroom. Without bothering to change or pull down the covers, she let herself fall onto the bed. She lied down on her side, grabbing his pillow and burying her face into it like she had done so many times in the past. It's lost almost all scent of him, but it comforted her all the same. The tears started falling then as she pulled her knees to her chest, and suddenly she can't stop. She cried until she was too exhausted to do anything more than turn off the lamp, unaware that outside someone was watching.

For the first time in months Audrey slept peacefully, without any dreams, and

after determining she would be safe for the night, Jack went back to the apartment he was staying in. Tonight at least he will be able to sleep, since tomorrow morning when he wakes up, it won't be in a panic not knowing if she was okay. Knowing he would see her the next day gave him a sense of peace that he hadn't felt in years as he laid down to bed.

"_Please Audrey give me some kind of a signal anything, anything that lets me know you understand what I'm saying, please, please!" _

_She cringes away from him, and he stops, not wanting to upset her. Slowly he pulls her closer into his arms, holding her. "It's alright I'm sorry, it's alright, I know your trying" his hand passes through her hair as he whispers to her. _

"_I love you with all my heart"_

_She wants to respond but the words don't come out. Slowly she reaches down, her fingers passing over the scar on the back of his hand. She puts her hand in his squeezing gently, hoping he understands that she know who he is. _

_There's a loud noise something bright, he starts talking fast again. Finally they break through the door. Audrey remembers Jack asking her where she was being held. She tries to say something but it takes her a minute to find the words. The drugs they had injected her with before bringing her to Jack were wearing off but they still had an effect on her. "Bloomfield" she finally says, and it seems to be what Jack wanted. He helps her up but hands her to another man. Looking back at Jack she realizes that he's not coming with her, and fear spreads through her. She may have just secured her own escape but Jack was still a prisoner._

_That was the last time she saw him._

**Well everyone said they like the flashbacks, but I hope I didn't get carried away a little there... Ah well. Review because there is some awesome Jack/Audrey/Mike conflict coming up that I'm excited about *grins wickedly (evily is apparently not a word)***


	5. Beauty in a Car Crash Pt 1

**I'm really really sorry for taking so long. I ran out of notes so this is kinda all spur of the moment. Quick note, anyone see the Grey's Anatomy finale, where Teddy (Our own Kim Raver) tells her husband guy "I'm falling in love with you". Let that soak in and if you go watch it now, try not to let out a tirade of swears such as the lovely person writing this chapter did.**

"**Beauty in a Car Crash- Part 1"**

Jennifer Davis left a message on her husband's cell phone to pick up their son after soccer practice at four. She had a feeling that tonight would be a late one, something about embassy problem with China but she wasn't sure. In truth she could care less about work, as she tried Audrey's phone again, and again got the answering machine.

She leaned back in her chair debating what to do next. She had tried to give Audrey some space, some time to herself to deal with him coming back. It was almost eight though, and Jen was starting to worry. Any longer and she would make a stop at her house.

In truth Jen really never thought that Jack Bauer would ever come back, especially after Audrey's last incident. She was so sure that he would come then, that when he didn't she had written him off, and had tried to get Audrey to do the same. To say she was angry at him for what he had done to her best friend was an understatement. She would never forgive him for leaving her the way he did, and for everything else that followed in those first two years.

She had arrived at the beach house the morning after Audrey had come back, having jumped on the first flight to L.A. She could still remember how quiet it was in the beach house, the sound of the ocean coming in from the window. It was an eerie quiet, unsettling and cold. She had found James Heller on the back porch starring at the cliff looking over the ocean. He didn't move when she came to stand beside him.

"_Where is she?" Jen asked trying to see what he was looking at, but finding nothing in particular. His answer was short, that she was in the back room, but hadn't given her any more information. _

_Thinking it odd, Jen left him there moving back inside. She pushed open the bedroom door, to find Audrey sitting up, starring with a vacant look in her eyes. It took Jen a moment for the shock to wear off. For the last six months she had believed that Audrey was dead, until Heller had called her last night telling her otherwise. Now here she was, barely resembling the person she had been before she had left to save the man she loved._

_She walked over to her, Audrey's eyes following her the whole time. "I am so happy your back, you have no idea how much I've missed you" Jen said as a few tears fell down her cheek. She leaned in to hug Audrey, but she quickly moved away, wrapping herself into a tight ball against the head board. She was a lot thinner, fragile looking even. Her hair was long and knotted, and her whole body seemed to shake. _

_Taken aback, Jen watched as she rubbed her arms nervously. "Audrey it's me, it's Jen" she reached out to touch her face, but she pulled away. Jen sat down on he bed next to her, placing her hand on her arm instead. "I'm not going to hurt you, I promise" Audrey watched her wearily, but didn't pull away._

_Looking down at where she was holding her arm, Jen noticed little puncture wounds all over her skin. She looked at the other one and found the same thing. "What the hell did they do to you?" _

_She waited for a reply, but it never came. Jen looked up at her, waiting, waiting for her to say something like "it could've been worse"._

"_Audrey say something" Jen said starting to panic slightly. A man in a white coat came into the room, her doctor Jen guessed. She saw the iv sticking out of Audrey's hand that was connected to the machine beside the bed. "What are you giving her?" _

_The doctor wrote something on his clip board, laying it on the nightstand. "It's just a mild sedative to keep her calm"_

_Jen felt Audrey move closer to her beside her as the doctor came closer to the bed. "Then why can't she talk?"_

"_She can talk" the man replied as Audrey moved even father away from him "she just chooses not to I think, but she does" He pulled out a syringe from the tray behind him, filling it with some liquid. _

_Audrey grabbed Jen, shaking even harder now. "No! Please! Jack don't let them do this to me, Jack help me, don't let them do this to me!"_

"_It's alright miss Raines, I just need to give you this shot, it's to counteract the drugs in your system"_

_Two nurses came in taking a position on both sides of the bed, ready to hold her still. _

_Jen couldn't stand to see Audrey so desperate and scared, as her cries for Jack became louder and she clutched onto her even harder. "Stop it, she's terrified can't you see that?"_

"_Trust me if there was another way to do it I would, but we've tried all night different ways of giving this shot to her and each time she fights us. She has about ten different drugs in her that are going to cause extreme pain from what we know about them, when the last of this drug has worn off. Now I don't want to completely sedate her again, I'd rather keep her awake, but I will if she fights us"_

_Jen nodded to the doctor wondering what she should do. "Audrey, I know your scared but I need you to trust me. This doctor is just trying to help, and I need you to let him give you this shot. Okay?"_

_Audrey seemed to listen to her, staying quiet for a moment. The doctor reached for her arm, but once again she became irate, calling for Jack once again. The doctor motioned for the nurses to hold her down, and Jen had no choice but to move out of their way and let them. Audrey tried to fight them off, but her lack of strength seemed to fail her. She seemed to give up entirely as the nurses held her down, and the doctor quickly administered the shot. _

_Once the doctor and nurses had left the room, Audrey still sat in the same position looking straight up at the ceiling. Jen touched her hand but she ignored her completely. Finally after a few minutes Jen left her, promising to be right back. She made her way back out to the porch to find Heller in the same spot. _

_He turned to her, letting her see the bags under his eyes on his disheveled face. "I can't take seeing her like that, I just... I don't know what to do to help her"_

"_She keeps asking for Jack" Jen said, remembering what Audrey had been saying over and over again. "Do you think that they could have been kept in the same place? If so we might be able to find him, and maybe having him back would make her snap out of it" _

_Heller didn't answer at first, choosing his words carefully. "Jack's not being held anymore"_

_Jen noticed the hesitance in his voice "what do you mean?"_

"_Jack was released by the Chinese yesterday morning to CTU. He helped stop the attacks, and from what I've been told, managed to get Audrey released as well" his tone was stiff, without any emotion._

"_Then where is he now?" _

_Heller turned once more to the sight of the cliffs out ahead, where only a half hour ago Jack had stood. He almost ran out to him at first, thinking that Jack was going to jump. Though he still blamed him for what had happened to Audrey, he didn't want him totally gone, just away. In the end he never jumped, just stood there starring at the ocean, until at last he walked from the yard and down the street, disappearing around a corner. As soon as he had left, Heller was wondering if he should have let him stay after all, and it was only made worse once Audrey had woken up calling out for him. _

"_He's gone"_

"_What do you mean gone? Did something happen to him?" She didn't know what they were going to do if Heller told her that Jack had died, for real this time. She didn't think that Audrey could take it, not in this state. _

"_No he's fine, probably far away from California by now"_

"_He just left? He saw how she was and just left her like this?"_

_This was the part Heller had been dreading. Whatever he said next would determine what Audrey would be told later on. He couldn't have her know that he had sent Jack away, or she would never speak to him again. No if he wanted her to really get better and move on from Jack Bauer, then he would let her think that Jack had left entirely on his own will. _

"_He saw her before we left CTU. Apparently he's gone missing, no one can find him"_

_Jen couldn't believe that Jack would just take off like that "Maybe he'll be by later, did he say anything?"_

_Heller stood up straight, turning to leave before she could ask any more questions. "Jack is gone for good, he's not coming back"_

Jen sat with Audrey all day and night, waiting for Jack to come back, almost certain that he would turn up at any moment. The other day when she had asked Audrey if she was still waiting for him, she already knew the answer.

From outside a pair of heels made a clicking noise down the hallway. Jen went to the door, crossing her arms as Audrey walked towards her.

"Is everything okay?"

Audrey sighed pushing past her, it had been up until thirty minutes ago "this lady rear-ended me this morning in traffic"

"Are you alright?"

"I'm fine, I'm bringing the car by the garage later for them to look at. It's not that bad, her car was worse"

"That's good"

"Yeah..."

"So your new partner..." Jen started sitting down on the couch in her office. She patted the seat next to her, and Audrey followed despite her best judgment.

"Are we really going to do this?"

"Looks like he's here to stay"

Audrey gave a short reply "great". In the back of her mind she could here him saying he would leave if she told him to. He was here because she couldn't make him go.

"Audrey you need to be able to talk about this, about Jack" she watched Audrey cringe at the mention of his name, something she would have to get over soon enough. "This is what you wanted isn't it?"

"What is?"

"Having Jack back here in D.C. With you"

To Audrey it still didn't feel real. "It is but I..." her expression changed into a more strict, business like look. "I don't know what I expected honestly"

Jen thought she had an idea of what she had expected, an apology for leaving for starters, followed by an admission of his love for her still, and finally a reunion under the covers. However, it seemed Audrey would be playing keep away in a fruitless attempt not to give the man her heart once again, and at the same time Jack was trying to give her space, let them slowly ease back into things. Didn't they remember? Slow had never worked for them before.

"Well I'm sure his timing didn't make it any easier" All that work they had put into to set her up with Mike and it was all for nothing.

Audrey was confused, timing wise she couldn't think of a real great time for him to just show up out of the blue. "What do you mean?"

Jen just stared at her in response, but the answer to her question came as Mike came into the office looking, a smile spreading across his face upon realizing Audrey was in the room.

"Hey" Mike's voice was soft and directed right at Audrey. It made her feel uneasy, like he was already expecting too much for her in just that one simple word. "Hi Mike"

"How were you after yesterday? Or better yet, where were you? I went by your apartment and you weren't there"

She could see Jen's head turn at this admission, probably guessing already where she had gone, but Audrey wouldn't admit it. "I was out pretty late, I stopped at my doctor's office and had him run some tests, he said that I'd be fine"

Audrey thought she heard Jen say "uh huh" under her breath but ignored her.

Mike leaned on Jen's desk across from the two women. "So this new guy Jack Bauer, did you know who he was before?"

Audrey felt her heart stop for a moment. Was it already around the office that she had been involved with him before? Great she thought, just great, and now Mike knew. But how? Jack wasn't the type to brag about the women he had been with.

"What do you mean before?" she finally said, waiting for him to ask why she hadn't told him before about her ex-lover.

"This guy was like the best of the best in the army, black ops, secret agent, head of CTU, we're talking like professional assassin, James Bond stuff"

Jen tried not to laugh at the almost shocked looked on Audrey's face, who obviously had no idea how to respond.

"James Bond huh? Couldn't he dance? What do you think Audrey, do you think Jack could push me around a dance floor?"

Audrey shot her a look telling her to not to bring up that night. They had been out for a drink her, Jen, Gregg, and Jack, about a two months after her and Jack had started seeing each other.

"_About time" Gregg said sipping his beer as Audrey walked in. The corner of Jack's mouth twitched upwards, his heart beating slightly faster as he locked eyes with her. She looked amazing, wearing a black short sleeved v-neck shirt, tight jeans, and a pair of black heels. Her hair was down, falling in waves at her shoulder, and her makeup made her eyes a brighter green color than usual. God he thought, she was still halfway across the room and already he was turned on. _

_As she reached the table, he started to say hey but quickly she held her index finger up telling him to give her a minute. He realized for the first time that she had her phone in the other hand. He gave her a puzzled look, she listened to the voice on the other end for a minute replying only "uh huh" before bringing the phone away from her ear again. She grabbed his beer from the table, taking a long drink. _

"_Jen can you talk to him please, I can't deal with his shit anymore tonight" she handed the phone to Jen, who stood up and walked away, already talking to him. _

"_Hey" she said leaning in to him for a long overdue hello kiss. "Hey" he responded, mesmerized as she bit down seductively on her bottom lip. _

"_Sorry about that, there's a problem with the lawyers" she said sitting on his knee, wanting to feel him next to her. Everything was so screwed up with her life then from dealing with a divorce to things with her brother, it seemed Jack was the only good thing going for her right then. _

"_It's okay, I understand" he said offering her his beer. "It's okay I think I need a shot, you guys want another one?" She said standing up._

"_Sure" Gregg replied, grinning at Jack; he was definitely going to have a good time tonight._

_As soon as she was gone, Gregg leaned into the table "I bet you can't wait till she finally gets rid of him" _

_Jack tried to laugh, but his insecurities gave way. "There's always a chance she'll go back to him. They're not divorced yet" _

_Gregg nodded noting the seriousness in his tone "Your right, there's always a chance. What would you do if she did?"_

_Jack took a sip of his beer, not wanting to think about what he would do without her. She had become a big part of his life in the last five months, and especially in the two months. She was his best friend here in Washington, and one of the few people he felt he could truly trust. _

"_Wait for her to change her mind I guess"_

"_Good man" Gregg said laughing. "I wouldn't worry though, I heard from my sources that she is very happy where she is" _

_Audrey came back with the drinks, sitting in her own chair this time. Worried he had done something to push her away, he laid his hand next to hers, his pinky tugging gently on hers. Surprised, she looked down and linked her finger with his before bringing her eyes up to his questioningly. It was amazing sometimes how good she could read his expressions like now. _

_Leaning over, she whispered in his ear. "Anymore kisses like that, and I'll be pulling you out the door to the car before this band even starts playing. I won't be able to control myself"_

"_Is that right?" he said teasing her. _

"_Later..." she answered her eyes lowering. _

_Jen finally came back, cell phone in hand, but now off. "Paul sends his love" _

_Audrey scoffed "Yeah, I'm sure. What did he say about the lawyers?"_

"_That this was your divorce, and you can pay for traveling expenses. Don't worry" Jen said "I told him to go screw himself" _

_Audrey closed her eyes for a second. This crap with Paul was really getting old. He was apparently still trying to mess with her. "the last two times I sent my lawyer out there, he conveniently had an emergency meeting in some other state. I'm not doing it again, he's out of his mind"_

"_Well yeah, but you know what he wants" Jen left it at that as she caught Jack's eyes narrowing. She hoped she hadn't said too much in front of him. _

_Audrey moved her hand on top of Jack's as she felt him pulling away. Paul wanted her there so he could try and win her back. "Okay that's enough for one night, new topic, when's this band supposed to go on?"_

"_It looks like they're setting up now" Gregg answered, watching as the sound guys set everything up. A couple minutes later the band took the stage, the audience welcoming them._

"_This first song is kind of a slow one to start things off" The singer was a women with wavy dark brown hair and brown eyes. She was behind a piano, facing the tables, illuminated by the light overhead. "It's about, well it's about falling in love with someone you probably shouldn't. But hey, it's love right" _

_With that a drum cut in. _

_Jen felt bad for them; they were the perfect couple, but had found each other at __the wrong moment. For every step forward, it seemed that they had to take two steps back._

"_**If I could take you away, pretend I was queen, what would you say, would you think I'm unreal? Cause everybody's got their way I should feel"**_

"_Hey you know James Bond was a really good dancer" Jen said gaining the attention from the group. "So I'm thinking it's like mandatory that all secret agents know how to dance. What do you think Audrey?" _

_Audrey got the hint "I think I'd better test this theory out. Dance with me?" she asked him. _

"_I'd love to" he said standing up and leading her out to the dance floor. _

"_**Everybody's talking how I can't, can't be your love, but I want want want to be your love, want to be your love for real"**_

_Jack pulled her into him, one hand resting on her lower back, the other holding her hand. "Jack I..." she wanted to apologize again, to dispel any thoughts he had of her leaving but he shushed her. "Just for right now, I don't want you to think about anything, just dance with me okay?"_

"_**Everybody's talking how I can't, can't be your love, but I want want want to be your love, want to be your love for real. Want to be your everything"**_

_She nodded, laying her forehead against his, letting him carry her across the floor. _

Mike ignored the last comment turning his attention back to Audrey. "Anyways,the guy must have super reflexes, I still don't know how he caught you so fast. It's like he knew you were going to faint"

"Well anyone could have guessed that" Jen replied covering for Audrey "she was ready to pass out before he even got in the room, you saw her"

Were they really talking about this? Audrey asked herself, finally pulling herself out of her memories. Her fainting could have been from not eating or sleeping, but it was mostly from seeing him again.

"Okay I think it's time to get to work. I have a new partner to break in, no thanks to you by the way" Even though she was preoccupied with Jack being back, she was still mad at Mike for leaving her like that.

"Wait Audrey I'm really sorry. I didn't mean to do that to you I swear, I just didn't have much of a choice. Let me make it up to you please."

"I'll think about it" she replied making her way out. Her feelings towards Mike were complicated, he was one of her close friends, and yet she got the feeling they could be more than that.

She tried to picture herself with him, laughing with him, holding his hand, kissing him, well that she had already done but it was fuzzy.

She was so busy imagining what her life would be like with him that she had accidentally walked into someone.

"Sorry I wasn't paying atten... oh" Of course it would be him that she walked into.

"It's okay"

Audrey didn't respond at first as she tried not to think about that night at the bar, dancing with him, kissing him, and then later on...

"Look, I know after everything I put you through you probably hate me right now, but I'd like for us to talk, maybe get coffee sometime?"

"Everything you put me through" She tried to calm herself down, she really did. "You have absolutely no idea"

"Your right, I don't. But every night since I've been away from you..."

"You know what, we have a lot of work to do, and I think we should probably get started as soon as possible"

Audrey took off to her office, leaving Jack starring after her.

"You should go after her, before she comes back"

"Jen, it's been a long time how are you?" He seemed stressed and slightly preoccupied, obviously not wanting to talk to her but trying to be polite.

She plastered a fake smile onto her face, ready for a little payback on behalf of her friend. "You're right it's been what, four years since you left?"

Her voice was laced with anger and resentment that he should've expected. "How's Gregg, are the two of you still...?"

Jen held out her left hand to show him both her wedding ring "still together"

The way she said those words hit Jack who just nodded."I should get to work"

"Uh huh, I'm sure she'll have tons of paperwork for you to do" she couldn't help but smirk at the thought of just how much"

Jack chuckled "I'm sure she will, but at least I get to spend the day with her"

"Taking whatever you can get Jack?" Jen called as he walked out. She could see he had some plan in his head to get Audrey back, it was just a matter of time.

"For now" he answered disappearing down the hall, hoping that his words would come true.

Four hours later...

They had gone through most of the paperwork together, making notes on what they wanted to go over again. Audrey had forgotten how easy it was to work with Jack, and just how well they seemed to work together.

They were supposed to be going over one of the reports, but Audrey couldn't help but watch him. The lines on his forehead deepened the more that he read, occasionally writing something down on a notepad in hurried letters.

He looked up and caught her starring; immediately her focus was directed elsewhere to the coffee that sat on her desk, a picture of a lighthouse on the cup staring back at her. There was no way that he could still remember her coffee, she thought as she slowly brought the cup to her lips, letting it rest there, the steam from the hot liquid rising up.

"Don't worry it's right" he said as he kept reading. Audrey jumped a little "I'm sorry?" she said startled. "The coffee" he looked up "It's what you usually get... well what you used to order"

Audrey nodded sipping it and sure enough it was perfect much to her surprise. "I can get you another one if you'd like?" "no, you got it right... what would you like to start with?"

"Well there is no way Senator Warren would agree to this proposal" Jack said rubbing one eye. "No not yet" Audrey agreed "not until we convince him otherwise".

A knock at the door interrupted them, Mike appeared, coat and keys in his hand. "Hey I was wondering if you wanted to get something to eat? Maybe talk?"

Audrey looked down to her wrist to check the time instinctively, before checking the time on her computer surprised to find it was already one. For the first time, Jack noticed that her mother's watch was missing.

"_It's how we identified her body... I'm really sorry Jack" _Chloe's words echoed through his head, distracting him from whatever this guy was saying to her.

"I don't know Mike I have a lot of work to do" Audrey said noticing out of the corner of her eye Jack's hand twitch, his face seeming far away.

"Come on, you still have to eat. I promise I won't keep you too long, I just really think we need to talk"

Mike stepped into the room , realizing Jack was there. "Oh hey, Jack right?" Jack stood up to shake his hand.

Jack wondered if this was her boyfriend, jealousy already shooting through him, but his concern for her won out in the end.

"Jack Bauer, and your name was?"

"Mike Davis, you don't mind if I borrow your partner for a bit do you?"

Of course he did. "No it's fine, we can finish this later it'll give me time to go over some things"

Audrey stared at him a moment. She had been expecting him to tell Mike that they should be focusing on the project, for him to give Mike a look that told him to back off. She hadn't been expecting Jack to give up so easily.

"Are you sure, I could review them with you" Audrey tried. Jack smiled softly "I'm sure I'll be able to handle it" their gazes locked for a moment, but for once Jack had misread her. "It's alright really, go"

With that she nodded getting her coat from the back of her chair. Jack almost stood up to help her into it, before stopping himself. Audrey still looked at him trying to figure him out as Mike helped her into her coat.

Mike's hand fell to the small of her back as she pushed her hair from her collar. "Will you still be here when I get back?" she asked meaning it in both ways. She was far from ready to have him leave again.

Jack's hand clenched reflexively at seeing Mike's hand on her, but he still picked up on the insecurity in her voice. "I'll be here" he responded nodding slightly that he understood. He watched them leave, closing his eyes as the door shut.

In all his years away from her he had thought up so many different ways of meeting her again. In none of them though was he so passive as to let her go off with some other guy. Maybe it was seeing her again that made all his own insecurities come back, kept him from taking her into his arms and telling Mike to get the hell out.

For now at least he'd let her go.

**I planned for this chapter to be so much longer, but I realize I've been making you all wait weeks now so I'll post this for now. Be assured that I am in this, and that I have so much more to write, so hang in there with me. Oh I almost forgot the song they dance to is "Be Be your Love" by Rachael Yamagata **


	6. Chapter 5 but not right now

_**I'm terrible at updating in a timely manner. I feel like we're tight though (meaning me and all twenty of you reading this) so I'm going to tell you I have a new male person in my life, so blame him for the delay. But anyways that's no excuse because I know how it feels to wait for a new chapter. It sucks.**_

"_But Not Right Now"_

_The dust picked up in the breeze, clouding the air, and giving everything a hazy film. Audrey lent against the side of her car, starring at the small house that Jack had called home for at least some of the last eighteen months. It felt strange to her that the time they had spent apart had been twice as long as the time they had spent together in Washington, and yet yesterday they had fallen back into each other in just moments. It just came natural to her, being with him, and scared her even more. She closed her eyes, yesterday she had him in her arms, she had kissed him, and he had promised her his return, and then he had disappeared._

_Instantly she knew that something had happened to him, because there was no way he would just walk away. Everyone else however was convinced he had just left; there was probably a reason that only Jack and certain people knew, and that she shouldn't waste her time looking._

_With little help, she decided to start with the first obvious place she knew he would never be, Diane's. In a way she almost hoped he'd be here, even if it was with her because it was better than the alternatives, but it still struck up the jealousy in her._

_She checked the address on the slip of paper Chloe had written on. This had to be it, she thought, dreading the meeting that was about to take place._

_A door opened, and Diane came out in simple blue jeans and a white top. Her red hair blew in front of her eyes and she moved it out of the way, as she starred at her new visitor with surprise._

_She was simple yes, but still beautiful. Audrey could see the two of them getting along easily. Her own relationship with Jack had always been complicated; it seemed like not a day went by that they weren't struggling to keep it together with everything going on. She could picture him with Diane though, working construction, coming home to her, kissing her neck as she made dinner. She seemed to be everything Audrey was not and probably could never be._

"_Ms. Raines right?" Diane called from her steps, shielding her eyes from the sun. Her married name had never bothered her before until Diane had said it, almost reminding her that she wasn't Jack's._

_Audrey stood up, her black dress pants blowing in the breeze as she walked across the front yard to the door, her heels sinking in the dirt._

"_You can call me Audrey, um if you have a minute, I could use your help" Audrey glanced at the apartment next door, half expecting to seem him walk out, surprised to find her there._

_Diane followed her gaze "I take it this is about Frank uh Jack sorry I'm still not use to calling him that"_

_Audrey's heart beat faster. Damn it she thought, what would she do if she found him here with her. "Is he here?"_

"_No, I haven't seen him since yesterday at CTU. If he came by he didn't take his things with him. Why did something happen to him?"_

"_Would it be possible for me to go inside there?" she asked pointing to his apartment. She wasn't sure what she was looking for, maybe it was just curiosity, but she felt like she needed to be where somewhere he had been"_

_Diane was worried, she could usually judge people pretty well, and she could tell that Jack was deeply in love with Audrey. He wouldn't just take off and leave her for no reason, unlike most of the men in Diane's life. Maybe that was why she had trusted him so much, because even though he believed he would never see Audrey again, his loyalty to her had remained. Of course Diane didn't know then why he had turned down her advances, even though he obviously cared for her, but it made sense._

"_Of course" she said grabbing the spare key off the counter behind her._

_Both women walked over to the other door, Diane opening it to an almost empty apartment._

_Audrey stepped inside. The living room contained nothing but a small tv set up on a table, a couch and a coffee table. She moved into the kitchen, a mug still on the counter with coffee in it. She picked it up, finding it cold._

"_I'm not sure what personal effects he had, but this is basically how I sold the place to him"_

_Audrey smiled to herself putting the mug back down. "That sounds like Jack"_

"_You would know better than I would I guess"_

_Audrey moved to one of the closed doors, ignoring Diane's last comment. There was a time when she thought she knew him better than anyone, but that had all shattered. She had seen the other side of him, the one from his file, and it scared her to death. She had been afraid she had fallen so deeply in love with a man she had only been with for six months, had only known for nine months. Did she trust him? Of course she did, but it had scared her how much. She hadn't realized the extent of her feelings for him, nor the amount she needed him in her life, until he was gone._

_And here she was again, without him, her world slowly crumbling around her._

"_I take it this is the bedroom?"_

_Diane nodded, and Audrey opened the door, finding the bed still unmade. She checked the bureau, finding only a few pairs of clothes. _

"_Damnit" she sighed touching one of his shirts. She had known she wouldn't find anything here and yet, she had still hoped._

"_Is he in trouble?" Diane knew that she probably couldn't be told, it was probably top secret or something but still, she should at least be able to know if he was alright._

"_I don't know for sure, but I have this feeling that he is. No one's seen him since yesterday, after everything was over. He went to answer a call from his daughter and disappeared"_

"_Have you called his daughter?"_

_Audrey let her head dropped into her hands, more exhausted than she'd ever been. She hadn't slept in over two nights and it was finally hitting her. "yes Kim said she hadn't talked to him since she saw him at CTU. I've called everyone and no one has any idea where he is"_

"_Well how do you know he didn't disappear on purpose again?"_

_This was the question she kept getting from everyone, and once again she gave her same answer. "He promised me he'd be right back. He wouldn't just leave like that"_

"_I believe you" Diane replied. "He told my son he would stop by today and explain everything to him. When you pulled up earlier, I thought he would be with you. If you say something happened to him I believe you, I just wish I could help you find him"_

"_Thank you" She felt relief that someone finally agreed with her on this. "You don't know how much that means"_

_Something caught her eye just then, the nightstand placed by the bed was moved about six inches away from the wall, behind it a small air vent. Also, it was on the wrong side of the bed, Jack always slept on the side closest to the door, in this case the left and the stand was on the right. _

_She checked inside the single draw, finding nothing but a phone book. She pulled the nightstand away, bending down to inspect the vent._

"_Oh those shouldn't be on, we can't afford ac so they stay off"_

_Audrey simply touched it, noticing it wasn't screwed in and the front of it fell off. Reaching inside, she pulled out a stack of photographs bound together. She sat on the bad, removing the string._

_The first couple were of Kim, at all different ages. Another one was a family picture, the three of them on vacation somewhere. The last picture was folded in half, tucked behind the others._

_Her hands shook as she unfolded it. She recognized the lanterns from the deck immediately, the ocean crashing somewhere behind them. Her thumb traced over him, it seemed like forever since that night. She looked so happy as she gazed into his eyes; she couldn't remember feeling as happy since. She kept herself from crying, there were too many things that had to be done today, she had to stay focused._

_From what Diane knew, Jack would be taking a huge risk of keeping these photographs with him, if they weren't important to him. "If he was going to leave again, he would've taken those with him"_

"_I know" Audrey said standing up. She folded the picture of them back up and placed it with the rest on the bed. She took out a piece of paper and a pen and wrote an address and two phone numbers down._

"_Could you do me a favor and send whatever's his to CTU? I want it stored as evidence. Here's the address. There's also Chloe's number and mine, in case he shows up"_

"_Of course" Diane said taking it from her. "What are you going to do now?"_

_Audrey had switched into work mode, already planning a course of action. "I need to go back to Washington first, get in touch with some people who would know how to start looking"_

"_and after that?"_

"_I start looking, and I keep looking. I can't just give up on him. I won't give up until I've got him back again"_

…...

"What is it, what's wrong?" Mike could sense the wheels turning in that beautiful head of hers. She was thinking intensely about something, and whatever it was, wasn't pleasant.

"I just have a lot on my mind" which was the truth. She seemed to be all over the place lately.

He took her hand in his, startling her. "Look I know its hard for you to open up to someone, to let them in on a personal level. I get that and I'll give you all the time you need, but I need you to work with me, because I really like you, and I think you're worth the wait."

"Mike..."

He just smiled back at her, his hand taking hers. "I'm not going anywhere, I can wait"

"Thanks, because I could really use a _friend_ right now"

Mike nodded "I can do that. So tell me friend, are you actually going to eat or are you just going to play with your lettuce like a five year old"

"Hey!" she said laughing "It's five and three quarters!" She stuck her tongue out at him.

"Oh that's real mature" he said, watching almost mesmerized at how her eyes lit up, the smug grin on her face almost too cute to resist. Before she could move, he leaned over the table and kissed her quickly before she had time to stop him.

Somewhat shocked, she just sat there, thinking about what had just happened.

"Sorry I couldn't help myself" he smiled to himself as he ate.

This was going to be harder than she thought.

…...

As she walked back to her office, she twisted the large bracelet around her wrist. There was a metallic taste in her mouth that made it hard to swallow. Jack was waiting for her in her office and she didn't think she could look at him let alone work with him. Seeing Jen at her desk, she decided to delay the inevitable.

"You're right we need to talk about _him_, and Mike"

Jen looked up, a folder in her hand. "Why what happened?"

Audrey closed the door behind her, paranoid? She asked herself. "He kissed me?"

"Who Jack?" Jen asked shocked silently thinking to herself _about time._

Audrey flinched as she tried not to think about what Jen had just said. "No Mike, at lunch today"

"Oh" she replied not the least bit surprised.

"I have a meeting in five minutes, but I think this calls for a girl's night out"

Figures, the one time she actually needed one of Jen's "we need to discuss your life" talks. "Alright I'll meet you and Sarah at seven, first drinks on me"

She continued down the hallway to her own office, the same one she had had back when she worked with her father. She held her breath as she opened the door, and found an empty room. Panic rushed through her instantly, before she heard his voice from the hallway calling her name.

"Sorry, I was helping Dave move a filing cabinet into my new office, well old office, apparently it wasn't taken"

Of course it wasn't she thought bitterly, but she had already known it was empty, she walked by it everyday after all.

"oh... well back to work then? Or do you have more stuff to do?"

"no I'm all set" he noticed how her eyes never quite met his, and how she seemed to be trying to keep her distance.

She turned to walk back in, when he lightly took her arm stopping her in her tracks. "Is everything okay?" he asked searching her eyes for something.

His hand on her arm was enough to distract her from any coherent thought. "I'm fine why?"

He let go of her, and they both moved inside, each taking their seats as before. He just looked at her, silently trying to figure something out.

"How was lunch?"

"Fine"

He flipped through some sheets of paper in front of him, finding the one he wanted. He hoped he could still read her as well as he used to.

"Where'd you go?" She thought she knew where this was going but played along. "That little dinner down the street"

"The really dark one or the one on Garrison's?"

She looked up then "Garrison's. Whatever it is you want to ask, just do it I don't have all day"

Jack's eyebrow's lifted as he leaned forward in his chair, his arms resting on his knees. He looked tired, like he just wanted to get this over with. "Alright... are you seeing him?"

She met his eyes, feeling the sting of those words coming from him. "We're not doing this"

"Was he the same guy from the bar?" he asked plainly

Audrey was shocked for a moment "Have you been following me?" Of course he had, damn, she had almost forgotten how he used to do that.

Jack hadn't in fact been following her that night. He had met just met with Dave to get his old job back, and had gone out for a drink after. Walking into the club, he recognized her instantly even from across the bar. It stopped him dead in his tracks as he watched her talk to some guy.

She still looked as beautiful as ever. Her hair was a few inches below her shoulder, straight tonight and down, his favorite. Her eyes were a darker color tonight almost green in the dim lighting of the bar. He could do nothing but stare at her for those first few minutes, he wasn't even sure if he was breathing. It felt like seeing her again after he had faked his death, if not more intense.

Finally he decided to move. He didn't know what he was going to say yet, but he figured it would come to him, it would be alright. In one second he was ready to run to her, pull her in his arms and take her home, and in the next she was kissing some other guy.

His first thought _"Son of bitch", _he may have tried to forget but deep down he was still a trained killer, and if he had trigger she was it. She had obviously had a few and the guy at her side had that look on his face like he wouldn't mind taking her home tonight. Jack probably would've started a fight with the man right there in the bar, if it hadn't noticed Jen sitting beside her whispering something in her ear.

He hated seeing her this vulnerable, but getting involved tonight might push her right into this strangers arms. He felt somewhat better that Jen was with her, even if most of the time it was Jen coming up with the bad ideas.

With a silent prayer he turned and left to wait outside in the car. He waited until he saw her leave with Jen and Gregg, the guy from the bar not far behind but to Jack's relief wasn't getting in the same taxi as them. Knowing she was safe, he left, even more hesitant about the next day.

"Why won't you just tell me?"

_Why? Because it's you,_ she thought to herself.

"Because It's none of your business" she hoped he would back off then, but no.

Jack could feel his blood rising. "Are you even ready for a relationship?"

The words echoed through her; how messed up did he think she was? It pissed her off that he didn't think she could take care of herself, when she had been getting on just fine without him. She was sick of being treated like she was a child that needed to be watched, and he had just pushed too far.

"I'm not too worried, I'm not repeating your name over and over in a corner anymore, and besides he's not the leaving type. We should be alright"

"And I am, because I did what I had to do to protect you?"

Audrey stood before she could stop herself. This was quickly going out of hand. "Protect me? Is that the bullshit story you've been telling yourself for the last four years?"

"I'd like to know the one your father's been telling you, I can only imagine what he's made up"

What the hell did her father have to do with anything? "He told me you left, and that you weren't coming back. I don't see a lie in that"

"Did he tell you why I left?" Jack's hand clenched, he already knew the answer as she just stared at him.

It had hurt too much to ask that question once she had found out he really was safe and back from China, but still missing.

"Your father told me to stay away, he was planning on getting a restraining order"

"He told you to stay away and that _**worked**_? You've disobeyed _**direct**_ orders from multiple Presidents and a restraining order was what held you back?"

"I wanted to be with you, I can't even tell you how much. But if I had stayed I most likely would've ended up back in prison here. After everything you went through to try and get me out of China, I couldn't do that to you"

She wanted out of this discussion and fast. This would be the first time they'd even brought up China and already she felt uncomfortable.

"Before you say it, I was going to take you with me, but I couldn't risk hurting you even more"

She tried, but the anger and grief in her heart was just too great to forgive him. "Thanks because you definitely saved me from that" she said sarcastically.

Jack's hand clenched twice, before he stood up walking to the door. He felt the cool wood underneath his hand and resisted the urge to put his hand through it. He took a few deep breaths, trying to get his emotions under control, already feeling his hands shaking. "If you need something send me an email, I'll be in my office"

…...

Jack walked through the Five Corners, heading straight for the bar. He said hi to Charlie, who brought him a beer on the house. It really was good to be back, he thought himself. D.C. Was the only place he had ever really felt at home, the place where no matter where he was he could picture so clearly in his mind. Although, usually he pictured her beside him, and after today she might be with someone else.

He knew better than to push her to give him a chance, she wouldn't let herself give in that easily. No she was going to drag this out as long as she could stand to, if it didn't kill him in the meantime...

"Did you see that guy? Damn we don't get guys like that around here" Sarah said looking over her shoulder to the guy at the bar.

"No I didn't" Jen muttered looking at a text from Gregg complaining that he couldn't come out with them.

"So sexy, I can tell from here he's good in bed just by the way he walks, damn" she was practically licking her lips as she watched him tilt the bottle up, his lips on the opening.

"Uh huh" Jen waved to Audrey as she came in, coming to their table.

"Will you just look at him?"

"Fine" Jen turned around "which one is he?"

"Black shirt, jeans, blonde hair, nice ass..." Jen was still confused as to which one "second guy on the right of the tourist looking guy with the black shirt" Sarah said giving up.

"oh. OH" Jen instantly started laughing.

"What's so funny?" Audrey asked putting her purse on the floor in front of her chair.

"That's what I would like to know. How could you not think he's gorgeous? You are so married it's gross"

"Here we go, another of Sarah's one night stands. Which one have you picked out now?" The girl went through guys as fast as she did shoes, they lasted about a week before she found a new pair.

Jen grinned wickedly "at the bar, black shirt, jeans, blonde hair, nice ass right Sarah?"

Audrey turned her attention to the bar, and spotted _him_ in seconds. It took her a while to recognize he had a black shirt on, and that it was the same guy Sarah was staring at.

"Oh" She had forgotten he had used to come here, especially after one of their fights. They hadn't talked at all after he had left her office, and though it had been nice not to be fighting with him, she had missed working with him.

"I'd say go for it" Jen winked at Audrey "He looks lonely, I'm sure he could use some company"

"Are you sure? We're supposed to be having a guy free night"

Audrey felt almost guilty for doing it, but she had her reasons; one being whether or not he was willing to move on already. "Don't let our anti-men campaign keep you from finding someone. Go talk to him, he is hot"

Sarah jumped up, smiling and walked over, her high heels clicking loudly on the wood.

"What do you think he's going to do?" Jen asked her watching intently as Sarah caught his attention.

Audrey watched Sarah touch his arm and felt a surge of jealousy pulse through her, even though she had set this thing up in the first place. If she still knew him like she thought she did, then he would turn her down as nicely as he could, however Sarah was attractive and really he had no reason for not talking to her "I don't know"...

Jack wasn't looking for company, but the blonde that came over to him, Sarah he thought, didn't seem to want to give up no matter how uninterested he was.

"Are you sure I can't buy you a drink?" She said smiling at him.

"Thank you, but I can't"

"Are you dating someone?" It wasn't often she got rejected, and she had used all her tricks on him and still nothing. Either he was really loyal or she was losing her touch.

"Not exactly, but I'm waiting on her"

Intrigued now she wanted to know more "What if she's with someone else?"

Jack sipped his beer, silently thinking to himself the exact same thing "than I guess it's up to her who she wants to be with"

"Good luck with that then, hopefully everything worked out" Sarah said with a sympathetic smile, patting him on the back. Damn it wasn't often that this happened, but when it did, she knew how to cut her loses.

"Thanks" he replied, not bothering to watch what direction she went in.

Back at the table Audrey couldn't help but revel in Sarah's rejection. She knew she was playing dirty sending her over like that, and if Jack had found out about the little game she had just played, he'd be pissed, but still it quieted the voice in the back of her head, for now.

"What happened?" Jen asked smugly.

Sarah shot her a dirty look as she took her seat at the round wooden table. "He's waiting on some woman who's probably with someone else, poor guy"

Jen noticed how quiet Audrey was, but Jack could use some payback. "Good let him sit there and wait for her to show up"

She caught Audrey's eye, and could tell that tonight her thoughts would not be on Mike.

Before she could say anything back, Sarah interrupted them after watching a red haired woman in a black suit walk up to the man at the bar.

"Oh wow, that must be her"

Audrey's head snapped up, as did Jen's to take in this stranger. Her back was turned to them, but they watched her hug him, her hand lingering on his arm as she sat next to him.

"Jack"

He recognized her voice instantly. "Hey" he replied hugging her. "Renee, how have you been?"

"How have I been?" she said incredulously "I'm not the one who almost died, how have you been?"

"good, better"

"Have you been seeing Dr. Townsend? Taking your medicine?" Her big green eyes stared at him, genuinely concerned.

"yes" he chuckled "Is this what you really came to ask me about?" In the past few months since he'd met her, he knew better.

"I just came to see how you were doing here in D.C. seems like you're finding your way, I love this place"

"You forget I used to live here. I've been to most of the bars and restaurants in town"

Renee looked into his eyes, loving how the shone in the light when he smiled. "Your right I keep forgetting"

…...

"Who is she?" Jen asked wondering if Audrey knew her somehow. Maybe he was a

cousin or something.

"I don't know" Audrey was sure she had seen her somewhere, she just couldn't remember how.

They watched them talk a bit; it didn't look like she was leaving anytime soon.

"Audrey... are you okay?"

He obviously knew her, and she knew she was jumping to conclusions, but it felt like they were together, and she had never even asked him if he was single...

"I think I'm going to go"

Audrey stopped dead in her tracks as she watched the woman leaning towards him.

"Did I miss something?" Sarah asked confused.

"The hot guy at the bar is Jack, Audrey's Jack"

Sarah looked ready to fall out of her chair, but Audrey's eyes were still glued to the bar. What was she going to do if she kissed him? It's not like they were together. She'd like to walk up in between the two of them and kiss him herself just to prove the point that this new woman could never be her. She thought about doing it, and probably would have it was a different time, but suddenly she wasn't so sure of herself.

Still she wasn't going to stand here and let her heart shatter into even more pieces.

...

"What are you doing?" he pulled away from her as soon as he realized what she was doing.

"I'm sorry, I just thought... the both of you are on opposite sides of the bar, so I just figured things didn't work out"

"What?" Jack glanced around at the tables, before finding Jen sitting with the blonde that had just come up to them.

"Damnit I'll be right back" He ran out after her, reaching the curb. He looked booth ways, but she was nowhere to be found.

"Audrey!" She couldn't have gotten far, and sure enough he found her halfway across the parking lot.

"Hey wait"

"What now?" she yelled opening her door. He caught up to her and pushed it shut.

"She's just a friend" He couldn't believe that that was the first thing out of his mouth but it was and now there was no going back.

"Good for her, mind moving away from my door so I can go home?" He had positioned himself between her and the driver's side door, his arms crossed in front of him.

"I'm not going anywhere Audrey, not anymore, I promise you that. Not even if you try to push me away"

Her eyes closed and for a second she was somewhere else...

_Paul's dead. Oh god, what did she do. Paul is dead and Jack... well he, she couldn't think. She stares at the phone, at the blinking green light showing that he's on the line. He's off right now on the way to the scene, about to risk his life. There's every possibility that he'll be killed before the day is over, and yet she hesitates, maybe because it's Jack and his death is unimaginable to her. _

_Finally she answers it. "Audrey, it's Jack" hes talking over the sound of the chopper. "I know you don't want to talk to me right now but there are a few things I need to say"_

"_Alright" Her tone is cold. _

"_Look I know that with everything that's happened today... you've seen me do things that before now you thought were unimaginable"_

"_I would've been happy to skip today"_

"_Yeah me too...But the truth of it is Audrey... I never believed you could ever really love me if you'd known about everything I've done."_

"_Jack I, I, I can't"_

"_Audrey please let me finish. These were the things I was running away from, that's why I moved to D.C., that's why I stopped doing fieldwork, that's why I don't work at CTU"_

"_All I know is that your back in it, and it's too much from me Jack"_

"_I know...I know...The last thing I ever wanted to do was push you away from me." She rubs her forehead, as she starts to cry silent tears. "God, Audrey I love you, but this is how the job has to be done. I just want you to know how sorry I am it had to involve you and the people you care about. Look you don't have to say anything now. Please just promise me as soon as this is over, we can talk about everything that's happened..."  
><em>

_He waits for an answer, and hears a small sob come across._

"_Audrey please" The pilot tells them they're almost there "I gotta call you back later alright?"_

"I just want for us to be able to sit down and talk about everything. I still care about you... and I wanna make this right"

"Look, I don't really get why your back now but you are, I can't deny that" She noticed how cautious he was, like he was waiting for the final blow. "For a long time in a while everything in my life was actually going somewhat okay, and now..."

"_...it's too much for me Jack" _ "All I know is that I need time to think, to stop and breathe, and with you around I can't do either. I need time"

"Okay" he said uncrossing his arms to open the door behind him as he moved away from it. He held it open for her as she moved towards it. "Take as long as you need."

He watched her drive off, feeling a lot like he had just let her slip through his fingers once again. She had given him hope by not flat turning him down, but he knew she could just as easily change her mind.

"**As long as you know that someday, somehow I'm gonna make it alright but not right now, I know your wondering when"**

**-"Someday" -Nickelback**

**That last flashback is from season four, one episode after Paul dies. I remember watching it and being like "this is everything I ever wanted him to say to her" and yet I feel like everyone forgets about their talks after Paul dies but before THE breakup talk when she kisses him and tells him she can't do it anymore. Anyone have any movie info (meaning recent, I know the script got scrapped AGAIN but after that I haven't been paying attention)?**

**OH warning next chapter may be confusing, it doesn't start where this one ends. **


	7. Chapter 7 Something Forgotten

_**To make up for the delay I'm giving you a scene I hope you'll like. I added this into the original chapter. **_

_**DISCLAIMER: THIS STORY IS RATED T FOR A REASON. **_

"_**Something Forgotten"**_

"_**It's been awhile since I've seen the way the candles light your face. And it's been awhile but I can still remember just the way you taste"**_

"_**It's been a While" -Staind**_

"_Hey" she tilted her head to catch his eyes "is everything okay?" Jack blinked a few times turning away from the spot he had been staring at for the past five minutes. "Yeah I'm fine" he said giving her a small smile while taking her hand in his across the table. He should've been completely enthralled by her in her tight black dress, cut low in the front, her hair down in waves, her eyes changing colors from the candle on the table. Any other time and he would've been but tonight he was preoccupied, however still by her but in a different sense. _

_Earlier that night they had gone to a work function where politicians discussed their agendas and everyone else eat and enjoyed a free meal. Jack was at the bar waiting for Audrey's drink, when he saw one of their co-workers come up to her. He had heard the man talking about Audrey after an office meeting. He watched them talk casually at first, until his hand landed on her elbow a few times. _

_He knew he shouldn't have been jealous but he was. He could feel it start to take hold, and had to force it down. They had only been seeing each other for two months and already he was starting to think of her as his._

_As he got their drinks from the bartender, Audrey shot him a glance, what she meant by it though, he didn't know. He made his way back to her, handing her a glass. "Thank you Jack, Alex I'll talk to you later, my partner and I have some unfinished work to catch up on here". The man nodded solemnly and turned away back into the crowd of people. She looked around the room for a second before turning to him, "when do you think we would be able to get out of her without my father noticing?" Jack was still thinking about what he had just seen, but looked around finding the secretary in deep conversation with a senator he didn't know. "I think about now would be fine" _

_Looking down at her ring finger, he was reminded that she was never going to be his, that she would always truly belong to someone else even if the ring wasn't there to prove it. "You're quiet tonight"_

"_Yeah I know, I'm sorry, my head's somewhere else right now" Sometimes he wondered to himself why he was doing this, why he was letting himself get involved with her. If anything tonight had only shown him the trouble he was in. She was separated yes but not divorced, and he knew from experience she could go back to her husband. Looking at her from across the table he could feel the sparks fly through his veins, 'why'd she have to be so goddamn beautiful?' he thought to himself. But if he was honest his attraction to her went far deeper than looks; it was everything. He saw trouble coming, when or how he didn't know but one thing he did was that he wouldn't be the one walking away from this, he couldn't. _

"_I can see that" she said stroking the backside of his hand in small circles. He watched as she took a sip of wine, their eyes locking for a moment as the glass touched her lips. In a single look they saw each other's insecurities, and soon enough they had paid the check and were on the way to her place. _

_As soon as he had her inside the door he pushed her up against it kissing her hard. She kissed him back pushing his coat off his shoulders, and loosening his tie. He got rid of her coat as well, pushing the straps of her dress over her shoulders, letting it fall to the floor. She pulled him to her for another kiss, her tongue meeting his as her fingers struggled with the buttons of his shirt. Finally getting it free she pulled it off, as he leaned against her, his lips hastily making their way down her neck, down to her shoulder, then her collar bone… She moaned his name as she pulled him towards her again by his belt, her hands tracing their way along his shoulders, to his chest, then his abdomen, and ever so slowly across the front of his pants…_

"Dammit" was his first thought upon waking up. His alarm clock was going off telling him it was six thirty. He hit the snooze button but it was no use. No matter how hard he tried to imagine it, the realness of her touch was gone. "Dammit" he said out loud this time, flipping the sheets off his bed. He rubbed his eyes, trying to get those images out of his mind but it was no use.

He went through the rest of his morning routine, cold shower and all, knowing that the memory in his dream was going to haunt him all day. It was one thing to think about her, another to have her there in front of him, but not be able to touch her. It was something he had been struggling with for the past two weeks as he worked beside her for hours on end.

His bad mood continued as he checked his email and found one from Dave saying that Audrey would be in an emergency meeting with Mike all morning. 'Great' he thought dropping his briefcase to the floor. He worked steadily until about one or so until he couldn't take it anymore and found an excuse to walk by her door. From the quick glance he got, all he could see was her profile as she stared at her computer screen. Just seeing her froze him in his tracks, and for a second it felt like he was back at that bar, watching her talk to Alex. Once again he felt the jealousy rise through him, but it was so much stronger.

When he got back to his office he got a call from Gregg asking him if he wanted to have a late lunch around two. A half hour later he was walking into the Lantern.

As soon as Jack walked in he recognized the leather coat of the man sitting at a table in the corner, reading a newspaper, a cup of coffee in his hand. Gregg had short brown hair and a beard almost as shaggy as Jack's, but the same color brown as his hair. He worked as a lawyer in D.C., and was often contracted into doing projects for many politicians and lobbyists.

Jack had considered Gregg a friend back when he worked in D.C. all those years ago; he had even been invited to his and Sarah's wedding with Audrey only a week before they had gone to California.

"Jack!" Gregg said getting up to shake his hand. "It's good to see you, how've you been?"

"Alright, I hear you and Sarah have kids now" Even as he said it he felt his chest hurt. Who knows what would've happened if they had never left for California that morning, where he and Audrey would be in their relationship. "Yeah two, Jacob and Madelyn, two equally destructive terror"

Jack chuckled, "You have your hands full then". The waitress came over and took down their lunch orders, before leaving them again to talk.

"I still almost can't believe your back. I haven't seen you in what? Six years?"

"Just about"

"And I heard you've seen Audrey already, how's it been working with her?"

Jack ran his hand through his hair "We always seem to work well together… it's everything else that isn't going so great"

Gregg had almost forgotten, upon seeing Jack, his wife's strict instructions not to give him any sort of information on Audrey from while he was gone. But as much as he resented Jack for what he had done to Audrey, or failed to do, he still considered him a friend, and after all the poor guy was completely in the dark about the women he loved. Gregg had thought long and hard about the whole thing, and realized that if he was ever in Jack's place, he would want someone to let him in on the basics.

It was this thought that made him break the silence that had fallen between them. "Look Jack I'm not going to lie to you, Audrey has been through hell. And personally if thought it would help her I would beat the shit out of you for what you've put her through." Not that Mike thought he could, but he would at least try at some rate.

Jack lowered his head "I wouldn't stop you, and I know she deserves better, more, but I couldn't stay away any longer. I had to see her to at least try to give her some closure or… whatever she needed from me. I owe that to her"

Mike's eyes shot up worriedly "you're not leaving again are you?"

"Only if she wants me too, I don't want to hurt her more by staying" Jack replied wondering to himself if and when that day would come where she would tell him she didn't want him anymore.

Even though Mike knew what he meant by it, he knew Audrey would completely freak out if she heard this. "Look Jack, my wife doesn't want me to tell you anything because she thinks it will give you an advantage or something, but I don't want you to leave thinking it's for the best when really it's the worst thing you could do if you truly want her back"

"Alright what do I need to know?"

Gregg paused for a moment deciding on how much to tell him, knowing that in the end it was for Audrey's own good. "Mike and Audrey aren't actually together. We've been trying to get her to go out with him for months now, and it just so happened that the first time she said yes, you came back"

"She has feelings for him though" He hated it but he could see it in her eyes, an almost apologetic look every time Jack saw them together.

"She likes him sure, but I'm not sure that she can ever feel the same way about someone that she felt about you. I think right now she's hiding behind him. I think she's afraid of you to be honest"

"What do you mean?" He asked, his fear confirmed by someone else was almost devastating.

"Now that your back, all those feelings, the memories she's been trying to keep hidden, they're going to come out. I think she's afraid of letting herself fall in love with you again"

Gregg's words were like daggers in his chest. Of course she would be afraid of that, after he'd let her down so many times before. "I'm not going to hurt her again"

"I believe you, but you have to understand, she won't even say your name. I'm sure you've picked up on it by now, but she refuses to. She won't even talk about you"

In fact he had been wondering about that for weeks now "I've noticed"

Gregg leaned over to pat his arm "this front she has going, it won't last long. She's been waiting and hoping for you to come back now for so long, that I don't think it's actually hit her yet. When it does, Mike will be an afterthought"

"Thank you" Jack said as sincerely as he could. The waitress brought back their drinks, and it fell quiet for a while.

"I bet it feels weird being back here in D.C."

Jack shook his head "actually it feels like I'm finally home"

Three hours later…

Jack was just finishing up his work for the day, noticing for the first time how late it had gotten, just barely seven. As he stretched his arms up over his head he heard a soft knock. Thinking it was her, he stood up, slowly moving towards the door.

"Hey… Oh, hi Renee" He tried to hide the disappointment on his face, but she didn't seem to notice either way.

"You haven't called me back all week; I was starting to worry about you"

Jack let her in, leaving the door open behind him. "Yeah sorry, I've been busy working on a proposal" He watched as Renee leaned against his desk. "Anything interesting?"

"Not particularly" he replied "mostly budget differences"

"Sounds interesting" she replied sarcastically. She thought that Jack was wasting time trying to win back an old girlfriend. If she didn't want him then the hell with her, but he didn't see it that way, so she would have to wait until he gave up. "I miss talking to you Jack; we don't ever have time to sit around and just talk anymore, or actually you don't have the time, you're so busy here."

Renee had been there for him when he had been sick and needed a friend. "I miss talking to you too"

She smiled slightly, glancing around at his office. "So how is working at DOD again? It certainly seems to have its perks"

"I like it; it's good to be back" He replied thinking about just how much he had missed the security he felt.

"Better than working in the field?"

"You know I can't do fieldwork anymore, even if I wanted to"

He watched as she picked up the agenda book on his desk before setting it down again "I just can't see you doing paperwork behind a desk" She stood up taking a few steps towards him. "I like the suit though" she said playing with his tie.

There was no denying that she was attractive, and as she looked at him with those blue eyes he was tempted to kiss her, but in the end it was she who kissed him. Before he even had time to think about what was happening his lips were moving against hers. It felt good, different but good, but most of all it felt simple. It was just a kiss, there was no emotion behind it on his part.

"Renee…" he said finally pulling away. He leaned his forehead against hers for a moment, trying to think of something to say to her without hurting her. He did consider her a friend, but he just didn't see them together.

"I know" she replied almost sadly "but I want you to know that when this doesn't work out, that I'll still be here"

Jack didn't know how to respond to that but simply nodded. "Come on I'll walk out with you"

Later that night Jack sat alone in his apartment. There was no denying that he was lonely, the feeling had come across him far too many times in the past. He thought about Renee's offer, and how easy it would be to take her up on it.

But god he wished he could just go over to Audrey's house and end this whole game they were playing just by kissing her senseless. He yearned for not just any contact but for a familiar one. The only thing stopping him was that she had asked for time, and he had agreed to it.

He let himself fall once again into his memory of her like he had so many times in the past, her face coming to his mind until a thought entered his mind. How he could've forgotten he didn't know, but Audrey was supposed to have dropped off a report for him at seven. Maybe she had forgotten about it too.

TBC.

**Ok so ten points for whoever figures that plot twist out. Of course like whose line, the points don't matter. Another twenty if you know what I'm talking about. **

**Anyway again sorry for the delay, I'm really trying to make this story perfect, but I've hit a couple snags on the way including this chapter. **


	8. Chapter 8 SelfDestructive Tendencies

**Stay with me please I promise it's going to get good from here on out! This chapter was based loosely on a Grey's Anatomy episode that I can't for the life of me think of. **

*********** Just a warning sensitive topics in this one, such as attempted suicide. Feel free to skip the first parts if you have to**************

"**Self-Destructive Tendencies"**

_The call came in the middle of the night. Dr. Sue Richardson answered her phone, exhausted from twelve hours of work the day before. She was met with James Heller's voice laced with panic and fear, talking quickly into the receiver beginning with the simple terrifying phrase "it's happened again, she's done it again, oh god". Minutes later she was dressed and heading to her car to meet them at the hospital, hoping that somehow Audrey would make it out of this. _

"You said there was something you wanted to talk about" Dr. Richardson tilted her head waiting for her answer. She didn't look good, her eyes were cold, almost lifeless, with dark circles underneath, and Dr. Richardson worried what could have brought on this apparent unease.

"Yeah…"

Whilst cocking one eyebrow up "and that would be"

Audrey suddenly realized how dry her mouth was and licked her bottom lip. "I…" and then the words wouldn't stop coming. "This is his fault. He comes back after all these years, after being god knows where and what? Expects me to fall into his arms? Who does he think I am? I mean you spend all your time thinking about someone, waiting on them and then one day you just stop looking, and next thing you know they're there, in front of you. What is that? I was moving on. I was on my own. He didn't need to come back here."

Dr. Richardson looked up from her notebook, quite surprised at Audrey's sudden outburst. "So you want Jack to leave"

Audrey stared at her with a look of half insanity "Of course not…"

"So you'd prefer him to have never shown up at all?"

"No, no I... I'm glad he's back"

"Then what is it you want from him?"

Audrey paused, letting the words come to her. "I want him to have never left" she admitted "I wanted him to love me enough to stay".

"You don't think he did?"

"I don't know what to think"

Dr. Richardson leaned forward in her chair, her slim glass slipping down her nose. "Audrey, not that this isn't helping, but we've gone over these things before, why are we really here?"

Her heel bounced up and down a little now that she was avoiding the doctor's gaze again. Images of the night before invaded her thoughts, and she closed her eyes pinching the bridge of her nose. "I spent the night with Mike"

Dr. Richardson was mildly surprised but not completely. She had foreseen something developing between them in a long time "How do you feel about having spent the night with him?"

Nauseous she thought almost immediately. "I don't know… guilty I guess"

"Guilty because you feel that now that Jack has returned sleeping with another man feels like betrayal or guilty because you're not sure of your feelings for either man at the moment?"

Audrey cringed thinking at first about Henderson and then about Mike, and what Jack would say now if he found out. She felt like throwing up and had to remind herself why she went to Mike in the first place.

"Both I guess"

"Are you planning on furthering your relationship with Mike?"

Audrey sighed putting her head in her hands, "I don't know what I'm doing"

_Coming through the emergency room doors she found Heller and Richard sitting by each other not talking, resting their heads on their hands. They looked up at her as she sat down; their bloodshot eyes and disheveled appearance making them both look older. _

"_I'm sorry to call you so late, they don't know yet if they'll be able to revive her, but if they do, if they save her, I'll do it I'll look for him"_

_At last he was listening to her advice "It's alright" she said patting his arm lightly "but do you think you would be able to?"_

_She noticed Richards glare from behind his father. His long standing hate of Jack had cemented his position on trying to find him, thinking it best that his sister just move on. _

'_Which she had done so well', Sue thought bitterly._

"_I don't know" Heller admitted "Not if he doesn't want to be found"._

_They waited in silence for almost an hour until a doctor finally came out to report on her status. "We were able to flush the drugs from her system by pumping her stomach. It doesn't look like it did too much damage to her liver, but the drugs did impact her red blood count so we're going to watch that in case she has a stroke or any other complication, but for now she is stable and breathing on her own." _

"_Can I see her?"_

_The female doctor shook her head "she's still in the ICU, but should be moved to another room soon. When she is I'll have a nurse bring you up there. You should also know that when she wakes up she will have to go a psych evaluation and another night of observation, its hospital policy for anyone who has attempted suicide. There are also grief counselors available for you and your family"_

"_Thank you"_

…

"Hey do you have a second" Jack asked coming through her door. She kept her eyes on her computer, continuing to work hoping that looking at him would keep the anger and guilt off her face. "Not really I have to get this done by three, Dave is going home early"

Jack watched her for a moment, and she wondered if he could still read her as well as he used to. "Alright, well I was just coming by for those reports from last night. You know if you're feeling overworked I could help you"

She stopped typing staring at her screen at the remembrance of the report that she was supposed to give to him last night…

_Audrey checked her reflection in the glare of her computer, she knew it was silly, but her nerves still were on high alert every time she thought of seeing him. She walked to his office with the file under her arm surprised to find his door open. As she got closer she heard voices, in particular Jack's and a female's. "I miss talking to you Jack; we don't ever have time to sit around and just talk anymore, or actually you don't have the time, you're so busy here."_

_Audrey stopped, just out of sight in the dark hallway. Inside she saw Jack leaning against his desk, facing the red haired woman from the bar. "I miss talking to you too" She was jealous that she was talking to him like this and that she had been talking to him for some time, but she was still curious to find out more about the relationship he had with her. _

"_So how is working at DOD again? It certainly seems to have its perk" Audrey remembered Tony telling her once that some people are better off in hell, and hoped that maybe this time he could stay away from it for awhile. She watched for Jacks reaction noticing the ease in his answer "I like it; it's good to be back"_

"_Better than working in the field?" _

_Even from where she was standing she could see his face harden. Jack was made to be directly in the action, he was the one who ran out first into the midst of it and not even give it a second thought. _

"_You know I can't do fieldwork anymore, even if I wanted to"_

_Audrey watched as Renee picked up the agenda book on his desk before setting it down again "I just can't see you doing paperwork behind a desk" _

_Renee stood up taking a few steps towards him. "I like the suit though" she said playing with his tie. Before this, Audrey had just been curious. It was obvious that Renee was hitting on him, and she wanted to see if Jack shared those feelings. Now however, she was seeing red. She wanted to rush in and interrupt their moment, especially with the way he was looking at her. _

_She watched until Renee kissed him and Jack didn't pull away. Suspicions confirmed, she left angry and hurt, but mostly mad at herself for thinking that Jack would have come back to be with her. _

_A strange feeling came up inside her; she wanted to get back at him, to hurt him some way. Twice now she had seen him kiss Renee, the woman he had most likely spent the last six months with while in D.C._

_But she wasn't supposed to know about that. _

_Showing up at Mike's apartment, she knew what she came for, and she knew it was wrong in so many ways. She needed to feel something, anything but what she felt thinking about Jack. _

_Mike had looked surprised at first, but it didn't take long to initiate something with him. Soon enough their clothes were removed piece by piece in a trail leading to his bedroom. _

_She talked only when necessary, everything else was silent. She let her mind go blank, let it block out things she found unnecessary like the scars she knew were visible to Mike, or the pang in her chest from how different all of this was. _

_When they were done she pretended to fall asleep but she couldn't. Tomorrow she would see him and who knows what would happen._

"Audrey?"

"Yes?" she said, her mind flashing to the night before.

"the reports… from yesterday" He looked at her with a curious gaze as if he could see it in her eyes.

Audrey panicked for a split second. She had spent all night thinking of what she would say to him in a situation like this.

"I brought them by your office last night when I said I would. You had company so I dropped them off in my office before leaving for the night."

She stared at him, daring him to defend himself to make an excuse. He didn't understand at first from the subtleness in which she had spoken, but as her eyes narrowed he understood.

"Renee just came to talk"

"Yeah, sure looked like it" Audrey shot back. Their eyes met, daring the other to speak.

Jack closed the door behind him, before turning to her. "I promise you, I'm not with her"

"Oh come on, you kissed her back. What I don't understand is why your still here"

"What do you mean 'why I'm still here'? I'm here to try to get you back! Why the hell else would I be here?"

"Right…" she scoffed turning around. "You know what just forget it I don't care anymore, I really don't. If you want to be with her than do it"

Jack had enough, coming up behind her. "I'm trying to prove to you that I'm not leaving, that you can trust me. Isn't that what you want?"

"I didn't know trusting you had anything to do with kissing another woman"

"and you think it's easy for me to see you with Mike? You think that doesn't just fucking kill me to see him even touch you let alone watch you kissing him?"

"I doubt it"

"Then you tell me why I'm here"

"I already told you I don't know"

"Yeah right" he said as he left the door swinging shut behind him.

"_How is she?" Jen asked coming through the door of the emergency room. Richard led her to Audrey's room, turning around at the door with barely a look inside. Jen watched him go before going inside. _

_She was awake when she went in; the ivs in her thin arms brought back a range of emotions for Jen who sat down on the bed crying. _

"_You need to stop this Audrey. You need to stop trying to hurt yourself, because we need you. Your father, your brother, me, we all need you."_

_Audrey's eyes were blurry, but she turned her head in defiance, looking out the window of her room. She was always looking out the window._

_Jen was worried about her. She had been doing better lately, starting to talk, seeing a new therapist, and doing more for herself. It was something in her eyes though, the look in them that said she was giving up. Jen had caught on to her depression for a while now but she had thought they were monitoring it well. Apparently they weren't. This one was on them. Her medication was something they hadn't thought about, hadn't expected her to try, but why wouldn't she have?_

_Jen looked at her hands folded in her lap. She knew what she was about to say could have devastating consequences. Heller had told her not to give her false hope, but from the way she saw it false hope was better than no hope, and right now Audrey had no hope. _

"_I talked to your father… he wants to try to find Jack"_

_Audrey turned to look at her, vaguely interested before turning back to the window. "Sure he does"_

_Surprised by how well she spoke Jen moved closer, hoping to keep her talking as long as possible. "He wants you to get better, and if that means finding Jack for you then he's willing to do it"_

_Outside was the darkened parking lot of the hospital, the streetlights illuminating the people walking in and out, a constant stream of people, each with their own stories and grievances. Audrey watched them and wondered at how many had just lost a loved one._

"_He won't find him" she responded coldly, with no emotion. _

"_He'll have help, I'll help him, and eventually he'll turn up…"_

"_Jack left me" she said looking at Jen. There was absolute certainness in her eyes that scared Jen. "He doesn't want to be with me anymore. I have to let him go" _

"_Oh Audrey, I'm sure that's not it. Maybe he didn't want to put you in any more danger, maybe he's staying away to protect you"_

_Audrey glanced down to the straps around her wrists. "It doesn't feel that different to me" she closed her eyes shaking her head and the tears started to fall. _

_Jen could do nothing but hold her hand and cry with her. "I'm so sorry, I wish there was something I could do to make you hurt less inside. You know you can talk to me about anything if you ever wanted to"_

_Audrey met her eyes for the first time, opened her mouth to say something, stopped, and then started again. "In my head… I can hear his voice… I can see his face… he's everywhere day and night and nothing will make it stop…"_

Jack was at his usual seat in the bar, waiting for Charlie to bring him another when out of the corner of his eye he saw Mike and Gregg walk in. Not thrilled for company after yet another fight with Audrey, he tried to avoid them, keeping his head down. It would have been successful had Gregg not been looking for him.

"Jack hey, how's it going?" Mike asked, sitting down next to him. Jack sighed, running a hand through his hair. "It's been a long day"

Gregg could sense that his day had everything to do with Audrey, but asking him about it would end up revealing a lot to Mike who thus far was still in the dark.

"Damn sorry man, it must be hard adjusting to a new place, having to meet all new people. It takes a toll on your family too"

Jack stared at him a moment, considering for a moment how easy it would to knock him out for a while but thought against it. "Yeah…"

"I'm sorry I didn't even ask… are you married?"

"No"

"Any kids?"

"A daughter"

Gregg cut in before Mike could ask the next set of questions leading to Jack having to explain his wife's death, knowing that touching upon that subject would send Jack through the roof. "How is Kim by the way? Is she still with that guy?"

"No they broke up, she's married to a great guy, they have a daughter now, Teri"

"Oh wow congratulations Jack" Gregg clapped him on the back smiling.

"Thanks"

For a while Gregg and Mike slipped into conversation about the game on the TV, while Jack sat quietly again, thinking about how he was going to fix this mess he was in.

That was until he heard a part of their conversation.

"You know that advise you gave me the other day? About giving Audrey some space?" Mike asked, almost smirking to himself.

Gregg stopped mid sip, catching Jack's eye behind Mike. He didn't like where this conversation was going, but was helpless to stop it. "What about it?"

"Guess who spent the night last night"

Jack felt the shock waves rush over him. He couldn't breathe as a familiar feeling came over him, the feeling of red hot anger that led to a few too many deaths.

"She did huh?" Gregg asked almost uninterestedly. He knew how protective Jack was of her, that this wouldn't lead to anything good.

"I was just sitting there and next thing I know she's knocking at my door and a few minutes later she was in my bed"

"Huh" Gregg responded watching as Jack's hand clenched under the bar.

Mike, practically glowing now with his achievement didn't know why Jack was so quiet, or why Gregg who had pushed him to do this in the first place wasn't more excited.

It still felt unreal to Jack, and briefly wondered if Mike was lying, but the look on Audrey's face earlier before their fight had told him everything he needed to know, even if he hadn't picked up on the way her eyes darted away earlier.

"I think she's finally realizing she's in love with me, even if she won't say it"

In spite of himself, Jack laughed at this. He could see it in her eyes ever time Mike wasn't around that her heart wasn't in this new relationship.

"What's so funny?"

"She's not in love with you"

Mike sat there for a moment shocked "You don't know that"

"I know she's not in love with you. Ever since I got back she's been looking for someone to run to and you happened to be there"

"What are you talking about? You don't know anything about her"

"I know a hell of a lot more than you think" Shoving a twenty dollar bill on the bar he turned around and headed to the exit, barely slowing down at the sight of Audrey just coming in. He stopped to talk to her for a second.

"I don't understand" Mike said watching the interaction from across the room.

Gregg answered him, finally realizing that this drama they had going on wasn't going to be resolved until all of this was out in the open. "Jack and Audrey… they were involved"

Mike watched them now, and then all the awkward moments between them made sense. "And what, now he's here to win her back? It's not happening, I don't give a shit who he is. He wasn't here, he missed his chance"

Gregg paused unsure how much he should tell him. He watched Jack go out through the door leaving Audrey standing there visibly unnerved. Now that Jack was back he could see that Audrey would never fully be with Mike. "He was in China" Mike said hoping that Mike would back off then.

As the realization clicked in Mike's head, he got up, walking straight past Audrey out the door after Jack.

Audrey called out to him, but he ignored her.

Outside in the cool night breeze, Jack was debating what to do next when the door opened again. He expected to see Audrey, but instead found Mike.

"You son of a..."

TBC…


	9. Chapter 9 Looking for a Dead Man

"_**Looking for a Dead Man"**_

_**Recommended Song for this Chapter: "Life Boat" Early Morning Rebel **_

"Damnit!" Jack cursed, in an instant his fist going through the drywall in his apartment. He could already feel small amounts of blood tracing down his hand, the sting from the hairline fractures causing him to grit his teeth. With a soft thump he laid his head against the kitchen wall he would have to fix tomorrow.

"Jack! Are you okay?" Renee said rubbing his shoulder lightly. Her touch was anything but comforting, and he tensed under her hand. "I… no I'm not" She looked at him with those big blue eyes; they seemed so blue, so intense. So wrong.

She bent down, slowly kissing him on his shoulder bone. "It'll be okay" she whispered. He breathed in slowly, letting his lungs fill with air. He let it out as Renee moved behind him, her kisses finding his neck as she wrapped her arms around him. One. He did it again, moments from earlier flashing in his head as her tongue found his ear. Two. Her hands found his belt buckle and he turned to face her after pulling his hand from the wall, bits of the drywall falling to the floor. Three was all he got to before he couldn't control his breathing any longer "Renee…"

He had prepared for a situation where she was involved with another man; had prepared thousands of ways of winning her back.

He hadn't prepared for this.

Across town…

"Audrey wait, let me take you home" Mike said running after her as she made her way down the street, walking as fast as she could, her heels making clicking noises against the pavement. If she had known this would have happened she would have worn different shoes, but her apartment was close enough, and she liked the air on her face, knowing that the longer it would take her to get home, the less time she would have to spend there alone. "I feel like walking"

"Then let me walk you! Audrey come on, stop" Mike got in front of her trying to halt her movement, but she only paused as she moved swiftly around him. There were few people on the street who turned and stared, waiting to see what she would do.

"Audrey! Look I know your mad at me, we can talk this out!"

Audrey stopped dead in her tracks turning around "you had no right! You shouldn't have said anything to him Mike, you should've just kept your mouth shut"

"I thought I was helping you! I got confused. But he deserved it anyway and you know it!"

Audrey turned around leaving Mike behind her. He had gone too far this time. Mike caught up to her again, taking off his coat in the meantime, and wrapping it around her.

She tried to take it off, but he held her shoulders stopping her. "You have every right to be mad at me, but I'm not going to leave you on the side of the road at this hour by yourself and I'm not going to let you freeze" She didn't know what to say so she stayed there staring at his blue t-shirt, watching the goose bumps form on his arms. She should give him his coat back she thought, but Mike didn't seem to notice the cold as he picked up her chin drawing her face closer to his. "You told me that night at the bar that you were messed up, but you're not messed up. You're heartbroken. When my wife left me, I was confused and lonely, self-destructive, tired, everything and everyone reminded me of her and for a very long time I didn't think I would be okay again" His hand traced up along her cheek, threading through her hair. "There will come a day when you'll be okay again. It won't hurt less, but you'll have grown so used to the pain that it becomes just a dull feeling. And I know things are different between us now that he's back, I know that all the old feelings and emotions feel like new again, I know that it hurts, so bad. Whether you decide someday to go back to him, or to stay with me, I want to help you till then. I want to be there for you, because I care about you Audrey"

He wiped away a tear she hadn't known had fallen. "… I don't know what to say" His dark brown eyes stared into her, serious and lovingly. "You don't have to say anything, just let me walk you home" She finally nodded, letting him wrap his arm around her shoulders.

As they arrived outside her apartment, she thought about the dark, lifeless walls that lay ahead. Picking up some courage she turned to face him. "Mike…" she closed her eyes, breathing in deep "stay with me tonight?" Before she could change her mind he followed her up the staircase, helping her take off both their jackets. They went into the kitchen and Audrey offered him something to drink but he declined. They stood there quietly for a while, each with their own thoughts until Audrey looked at him nervously. She knew Jack may not be in his office on Monday after tonight, that he might quit to get away from her. She deserved it after lying to him. Mike really was a good guy she thought, and last night had actually been good. Maybe she could move on. "I'm gonna go to bed, um, if you want to…" she didn't finish but he understood. "I'll come" he followed her into her bedroom, taking off his shirt and pants and getting into bed. Audrey hesitated with taking off her clothes. "It's not like I haven't already seen you" Mike said, putting one arm behind his head. She nodded, turning her back to him, slipping off her clothes, and replacing them with an old black t-shirt. She was so used to wearing it she didn't notice the mistake she had made until Mike had said something. "I didn't leave that here did I?" She turned the light off quickly, burying herself under the covers. "Um no I had it", she felt like she was going to be sick as she thought about where she got it from. They were facing each other, adjusting to the darkness, "It'll be okay" he whispered, and in a second she was crying, harder than she had in a long time.

Earlier…

Jack was beyond angry, he was pissed. As he shoved a twenty onto the bar he had half a mind to slam Mikes head into it as well, but he had to let him go. Audrey would pull even further away from him if he hurt Mike, it was Paul all over again.

His mind was still debating the whole thing when he looked up to find her just coming in. Again there was that look in her eyes, pleading with him not to ask, not to know, but he did know. He thought of Mike touching her soft ivory skin as her head fell back, her blonde hair cascading over the pillow as he kissed her lips…

"Did you think I wouldn't find out?" Jack said harshly just loud enough for her to hear. Audrey could see the coldness in his eyes, the anger. She was re-learning how to read him, but this was too easy. This was the side of Jack she had never truly seen until the day she was captured, and the fact that it was now directed at her scared her. "I don't know what you're talking about" She went to leave but he moved in front of her resisting the urge to grab her, and bring her back to his apartment to talk some sense into her. "We could've put an end to this fighting weeks ago, and this never would have happened" Audrey could see Mike and Gregg at the bar watching and talking. "What me finding out about your girlfriend?" She said, still hurting, and not yet ready to give in. Jack responded angrily speaking low. "No me finding out about yours, and you running to him because you saw me with Renee." He knew. Audrey stared at him, not knowing what to say. "He just told me all about last night, with you"

Jack walked past her then, out through the door out into the parking lot. He left Audrey standing there shocked and afraid of what to do next, until Mike made his way quickly by her too. She called out to him, but he didn't stop.

Mike came up behind him. Jack didn't spot him until the last minute, "You son of a..." His fist connected with the Jack's jaw, sending him staggering. Mike waited for him to retaliate, the adrenaline pulsing through him. His fist hurt now that the initial impact had worn off, but he clenched it tighter in response. He swung again at Jack, but this time he dodged it, he swung a third time, and Jack caught it, sending him backwards. There was blood coming from the man's lip, and as he went to wipe it, he saw his chance tackling him to the ground; he punched Jack a few more times in the face, splitting his lip more, but Jack barely tried to defend himself.

He heard Audrey calling his name, begging him to stop but the man deserved it. As far as Mike was concerned, someone should have done this the second he had gotten back. The fact that her friends stood by and let him come back into her life was ridiculous. Finally someone pulled him off, his knuckles bloodied. "You're kidding me right? You come back after all this time, after everything you did to her, and you think you can just walk back into her life? You can fuck off"

""Mike…" She had that frightened look in her eyes that he hated, that he would do anything to make disappear.

"No Audrey, I just can't, I won't let him hurt you again" He loved her, and he knew she cared about him.

Jack leant against one of the street lights in the parking lot, as Jen helped him up. He could tell he would have a few bruises and at least one black eye, but as he wiped his chin surprised to find so much blood from his lip. His hand was shaking as he stared at the crimson red liquid, a warning sign, but he didn't care. Jen caught sight of this but didn't say anything. It had been a shock to see Jack laying there on the ground, not even trying to get Mike to stop hitting him.

"She doesn't need you or anyone else to make decisions for her" Jack snarled. All the old feelings of anger and hurt came out once again.

He saw Audrey hesitantly move closer to him, staring worriedly at his face, and the blood coming from his mouth. His eyes locked with hers, and he could see fear similar to when he had first seen her after her capture. It stopped him for a moment, and all he wanted to do was take her in his arms. Audrey came to him slowly still trying to figure out what had happened. He straightened himself up, his hand coming away from his mouth.

"I'm fine... Audrey..." she stepped closer out of habit, and then she couldn't take it any longer. Her hand reached up, her fingers lightly tracing the bruise that was beginning to form.

"You could use some ice" She said letting her hand linger against his face, loving the feeling of the familiar stubble against her skin. "Stay away from her!" Mike yelled struggling against Gregg as he continued to hold onto him.

Jack's arm wrapped around Audrey, protectively pulling her behind him. "No, I'm not going anywhere unless she tells me too. If you can't handle that, then that's your problem"

"Right and I'm just going to stand by and let you knock her around some more? I don't think so"

Everyone stopped shocked. Gregg let go of Mike who immediately got in Jack's face again ready to hit him. Jen looked at Audrey, her eyes wide with shock. No one was more surprised than Jack who immediately let go of her, taking a few steps back. Mike's words hit him straight in the chest, as memories of her interrogation came into his head.

He had always regretted pushing her against that wall, holding her there, but he thought she understood how much he hated that. He couldn't let Karen see he was going easy on her, or they would rip him out and administer their own interrogation, but in the end they did anyways.

"I never wanted to, I had to, they wanted to send in Burke…" Jack said quietly, his hands shaking more. She stared at him confused. He had never 'knocked her around' so why was he admitting to it.

"Oh please, don't start making excuses. Things weren't good between you so you hit her" Mike said getting in his face, ready to hit him again. "You disgust me"

"Mike shut up!" Audrey said finally having enough. "What the hell are you talking about?" she said directing her attention back to Jack.

"Your interrogation" Jack said shamefully. "Oh" was all Audrey responded. She didn't know what to say. It had been hard to be on the receiving end of Jack's gaze over an interrogation table, but she trusted him completely and in the end it had been Jack who had saved her from Burke.

"You interrogated her?" Mike asked becoming even angrier. He had read his file before, about how he was famous for his interrogation methods, mostly because they involved torture.

"Isn't that what you're talking about?" Audrey replied

"No I didn't even know about that"

Audrey glared at him. "Then why would you make up something like that?"

"I didn't make it up! He's your ex right? The one who "died" and was in China"

Audrey glanced at Jack before she could stop herself. He was still bloody and angry, but she could tell he was also still thinking about the interrogation. "well…"

"The husband you separated from because he got drunk one night and hit you! And now he's back to what? Win you back?"

Audrey visibly paled under the spotlight. It seemed like so long ago… she had almost forgotten…

Jen stepped in seeing the look on Jack's face, and the danger it held for a man who was already dead. "Mike, you've got the wrong person…"

"No I don't, her ex that died. I don't understand what's going on here"

Jack however was quick to catch on, directing his anger to Audrey who was refusing to look at him. "You lied to me. The entire time. Not even when… and before that when I let you walk into that hotel room"

"He slapped me once that was all, and I left, and then I met you. I didn't want to make a big deal out of it"

"It was a big deal! You told me he wasn't violent, that he wouldn't hurt you, or anyone else. It would've been my fault if something had happened to you, you were my responsibility! And then… you almost went back with him"

"I was confused…" Audrey started but Jack cut her off.

"No you were afraid, of me" Jack shook his head his eyes looking up at Mike. "So you went running back to someone more familiar, even though they hurt you, even though you knew you wouldn't be happy"

Audrey stepped in front of him, looking up at him again for the first time, wanting so badly to convince him otherwise. "That's not true"

Jack stepped back putting space between them, shaking his head again. "I wish it wasn't" Turning his back to her, he turned to walk back to his car when Renee appeared, having parked only moments before. "Hey what's going on?" she asked as she came up next to Jack. "Oh my god Jack, what happened! Were you in a fight?" Renee asked concerned, reaching to tilt his head so she could see but he pulled away. She saw Audrey watching intently, and their eyes met for a moment, sending daggers at each other. Jack looked back at her one last time. "I was just leaving"

"Want a ride?" Renee asked. Jack nodded and they made their way to the car. Audrey watched until they drove away, and then she started walking, she didn't really know where at first until she realized her apartment was a few blocks down. Mike had followed close behind, trying to convince her to come back.

"He didn't take that well" Jen said, leaning against her husband in the car. Their date night had ended early by the fight, and they had already arranged a babysitter. "Did you expect him too? You know how he gets about her" Gregg said coming to a stop at a red light.

"I know, that's why I didn't think he would ever find out"

Gregg leaned his head back. "It was my fault, I told Gregg they were involved, and that he was the one in China, I thought he should know what he was up against, but apparently he made the wrong connections"

"Jack would've found out eventually"

"Yeah maybe"

There was a quiet in the car for a moment, and then Jen turned to him. "He barely even defended himself"

"Maybe he thought he deserved it?"

"His hands were shaking, he looked terrible"

"I know"

The light turned and they moved forward, Jen watched the buildings go by for a moment before she spoke again, almost in a whisper as if she feared what she had to say herself. "You don't think the reason he came back was because he's sick right?"

Gregg didn't say anything, but he didn't have to. They both knew the answer, even without knowing it. And if they could see the changes in Jack, then Audrey most definitely could. So then maybe she knew too, maybe she always did.

"_**I've been walking on a tightrope falling, and I've been looking for a life boat for you, I've been looking for a light left in your eye"**_

_**Okay so I've been doing a lot of behind the scenes work, which basically means I've written a few things in advance. I want to thank EVERYONE for their amazing comments! You guys keep me writing, and that's always a good thing because I don't write nearly as much as I probably could. **_

_**So keep up the great reviews! **_


	10. Chapter 10 Eye of the Storm

**Hi everyone! So I broke my laptop and haven't gotten it fixed yet which is why this took so long (story in itself and not one as interesting as this). Anyways this is the long awaited next chapter, which I decided to split up because it was kind of getting out of hand. I just kept adding to it until I realized it was twelve pages and was like "why not just post half as a chapter? Idiot". Ahh my sarcastic, critical self. I love the reviews by the way! They kept making me go "oh shittttttt finish that chapter!" Let me know how you like this one.**

**Warning, contains sex and abuse, slightly.**

_**In the Eye of the Storm**_

For a long time the next day Jack stayed starring up at the ceiling. He was glad it was Saturday. Not that he would have gone to work anyway. He even had come up with an excuse the night before"_yeah Dave, can't come in today, they want me in the hospital for some tests, might take all day", _before remembering it was Friday night.

It seemed his days passed by him in a blur, he hurried to get to work earlier, hoping to catch her on her way into the office and calm his anxiety from the previous dream. He'd stare down the hallway waiting for her to come in, sometimes not even bothering to turn his computer on until he'd see her. Around seven she'd come in, and his heart would start beating faster. Quickly she'd make her way down the hall, one of her many pairs of heels clicking down the hall. They were expensive he knew. He had found a new pair on her kitchen table one day while she was showering. The price tag said they were $850. He'd never known woman's shoes could be that expensive, never considered that the woman he slept almost every night besides had that type of money. Then again she always dressed well. Her wardrobe itself must be a small fortune. Not that he himself didn't have money, but he suspected she probably didn't have to work when he remembered who her father was, his boss. The man was a seasoned politician, as was his father almost everyone was successful, from lawyers to doctors. They had vacation houses and estates, not to mention the planes and jets. They were like the Kennedy's, but without the popularity and the scandal.

She always kept her head down as she went into her office. He thought it was to keep people from talking with her. Once she had glanced up and caught him starring. Throughout the day they would talk only if necessary about their projects, but Jack loved the days when they'd be confined in the room together working on something. At his apartment he would make himself dinner and fall to sleep, more often than not waking in the middle of the night after some horrible dream, reaching for her in bed, calling her name. By the time six am came he was excited to get to work and start the process all over again.

It was different back when they started going out. He'd wake up in her bed to her caressing his chest, her nails going across his skin softly, tickling him, usually before the alarm had gone off. His morning hard on was always worse with her around. Always had to be solved one way or another. Opening his eyes he'd see her grin, her eyes sparkle. "Good morning" she'd whisper before kissing him softly, her hand beginning to stray lower, under the sheets. Sometimes he'd keep his eyes shut, wondering what she'd do but she always knew he was awake and played along. By the time he'd open his eyes she'd be on top of him, naked giving him that look that said "what are you going to do now?" Sometimes he'd wake up before her, listen to the sound of her breathing. That's when he felt the most insecure being with her, when she wasn't looking at him. When he could stop and think how lucky he was she wanted him. He couldn't help but wonder if she really knew what he was like if she would still be with him.

Sometimes they'd continue into the shower, the water falling over both of them. They hardly ever talked then, busy either with washing each other or getting lost in each other. Then came getting dressed. He'd watch her dress, laughing sometimes as she would try on four or five things before finally settling on something and shrugging in the mirror. By the end of the six months he had moved most of his clothing to her house, and some of hers was at his apartment but they almost never went there. Unless of course she happened to be hiding out from her father or husband.

At work there was always the glances, sometimes a touch. They worked extremely well together, even if they didn't agree which was often. In fact those first few weeks he had a hard time being around her without wanting to take her right in that spot. There had been a few times when the heat between them was too much, once when he was sitting at his office chair and she had come in, locked the door behind her, shut the blades in a second stratling him. Another time he had lost it in the parking garage, and once even found a spare conference room.

At night they lived a different life, dating and going out, acting like the normal couple. By eight am the next morning they played their part again.

The thought of them getting caught made her laugh."_Gee I think the Secretary would stop sending us on those trips together huh?"_ They did a lot of traveling for conferences, New York, Boston, Michigan. His least favorite trips were the ones to New York, where her husband lived, where her real house was. He liked to keep her confined to one of their hotel rooms while they were there, not wanting to risk being out in public in case they ran into him. Even though the guy had cheated on Audrey, he still felt guilty now for being with her. She was after all still married to him. Their separation was supposed to be for thinking about their future and little did he know she was spending that time with another man. Not that Paul probably wasn't screwing around also, but Jack could tell the guy wanted her back. The phone calls were consistent. They spoken of Paul only once out of all those trips to New York. He had asked her what she thought he'd do if he found out. She just shook her head and stared out the window of the car they were driving in. "I honestly don't know. I hadn't thought of it." At least it was good she wasn't thinking of him, but maybe she should have thought that her father wouldn't mind telling Paul she was in town because that's what he did on that trip.

Sure enough one night as they were laying in bed watching the news, the hotel phone rang. Her head was laying on his chest, her arm draped over him when she looked up at him first startled, confused at who would be calling so late. She reached over him to pick it up, kissing him on the lips as she did. His hand went to her lower back as she was now on top of him. He might have imagined her grip his shirt a little tighter as she answered the phone. Her look told him exactly who it was, always those same eyes that watched him, maybe to make sure he wouldn't leave.

One time he had left. They were all over each other on the couch, things starting to get hot when the phone started ringing and wouldn't stop. As she answered the phone and found out who it was, Jack put his clothes on and left, needing the fresh air. She had shown up at his apartment that night, with a tear stained face and an apology. He hated she was apologizing to him for talking to her own husband, ashamed he had left. They had passionately made love for hours without another word.

At the hotel that night he wasn't sure what to do thinking that that would be the night they would get caught and would have to make the decisions about their relationship neither of them had yet made.

Would she leave Paul? Where they going to stay together? When were they going to tell Heller? Four months, he thought it was like yesterday and yet felt being with her the most natural thing in the world. It sounded like Paul was coming to visit his wife, no matter how much she was telling him to go screw. She finally put the phone down, shaking her head. "Do you want me to leave?" he asked. To his surprise she shook her head. "You want me to stay?" She bit her lip "I... I don't want you to do either, I don't know." She was still on top of him, looking down on him worriedly. He pulled her down, kissing her softly, his tongue just barely warming her mouth, making her groan softly. "How about I go hide out on the porch? You can come get me when he's gone." She nodded "He's not coming in though" she said more he thought to convince herself. She was already gearing up for battle, preparing herself for the oncoming fight. He wanted to do something to help her, remembering how bad it would sometimes be with him and Teri.

He waited outside with a beer in his hands, staring out into the city lights. Audrey had drawn the curtains behind him just as the knock had come on the door. Occasionally he could hear loud voices, standing straighter whenever he heard the man's voice, ready to run inside and save her if need be. The longer he waited the more anxious he became, wanting her back in her arms, before her husband could do any more damage, or convince her to take him back. When finally she had come and let him back in, he was surprised it had only been about five minutes. Five minutes, and yet he was pushing her against the wall in a second, his mouth claiming hers. Her legs went around his waist and he pushed up one of his old shirts she wore to bed every night. He wondered if she thought about the fact she was just talking to her husband, wearing his shirt. It was almost like they had flaunted their relationship out in front of him, and the son of a bitch didn't even notice, or care. As he removed it and started in on kissing down her neck, her hands found the zipper to his pants. Soon her own were on the floor along with her underwear and he was inside her. All those words left unspoken, this was how they dealt with them. This was what they did best.

Last night he had been pissed at her, first for having slept with Mike, and then finding out about Paul. So pissed he had put his hand through a wall probably breaking it. It still stung, even after Renee had done her best to bandage it. When he thought about it though it was the fact that she had never told him, but had told this guy she had just met, who she was now fucking. Nothing had changed, all these years later and they still weren't talking about these things. Not that she would talk to him anyways.

He thought it was more than the old wounds though, the reason he blew up on her. Every time he saw one of her scars from China, knowing what she had endured because of him _for_ him, sent him into his own private rage. It made him feel lethal finding out someone else had hurt her, even if it was all those years ago. He felt almost out of control when he thought she was in any sort of danger.

He wanted to get up and get the aspirin to take some of the pain away from his hand but he was too lazy to move.

…...

"Tell me what happened with Paul… from the beginning" Sue asked. They met on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturday mornings. This Saturday, Sue had arrived at her office, (a rented room in a building with ten other psychologists) to find Audrey already waiting by the door. She was wearing a dark blue v-neck sweater that on her slight frame seemed to engulf her, and jeans. Her arms were wrapped around herself tightly, and two cups of coffee sat by her feet. It was going to be one of those days then.

They had walked down to Sue's office and as soon as the door was shut and both were seated with a coffee in her hands, Audrey began to talk about what had happened the night before, the fight.

"He let Mike hit him, and his hands... they were shaking so bad. Worse than mine ever do. I thought he was going to really hurt Mike. And then..."

Audrey seemed shaken up by all this, worried even. It was interesting to see the effect Jack getting hurt had on her so immediate. After all that was a huge part of the therapy. It was even more interesting however when Audrey had told her about Paul having abused her, prompting Sue to delve deeper into her relationship with her former husband.

Audrey's face tinged with pain but only for a moment. She felt the spot where a ring used to be on her wedding finger.

"Things with Paul were good at first. We met in college, dated for a year then broke it off, but we ended up getting back together. A year after college he proposed to me" Audrey looked down at her now bear finger. "We were living in this small apartment in New York. He was working with his father at his company, and I was trying to get my foot in the door in Washington. Even then we were so busy…"

_Audrey opened the door to her apartment finding it dark and empty. She sighed shaking her head as she took off her black pea coat hanging it in the closet. She turned on the lights to their small apartment, and patted down her hair, getting rid of the remaining flurries of snow that hadn't melted yet. A stack of bills were on the table, dishes were still in the sink, and it was already nine o'clock. Forgetting the bills and the dishes, Audrey got out the takeout menus and picked up the phone. She stared at the door for a minute as if she were waiting but there was still no sign of her soon to be husband._

_She ordered Chinese for the both of them, grabbed a beer and sat down on the couch, flicking on the TV. It had been another long day and she was exhausted, but she was starting to really like the work. In fact everything in her life was going pretty good she thought as she stared down at the very large engagement ring Paul had given her._

_An hour after the food had arrived, the front door opened and Paul finally came in wiping the snow from the top of his head. "Did you order something?" he asked picking up some of the bills. "in the fridge" she called._

_After a few minutes Paul sat down on the opposite side of the couch, plate in hand. There was silence while he ate as the news played, and Audrey read one of her wedding magazines. She watched him while he stretched once he was done, wondering if now would be the time to bring up wedding details. "We need to set a date"_

"_I know, I'm working on it" he said with a twinge of irritability._

_Audrey moved closer to him, her hand making soothing patterns on his chest "I was thinking sometime in the fall or winter" The smirk on her face as she messaged his neck with her other hand was enough to break his attitude._

"_Alright alright, geez babe your persistent. How about this weekend we sit down and talk about it okay"_

"_Thank you" she said kissing him on the cheek. He smiled at her "I love you, you know" She moved so that her head was against his shoulder as they watched the rest of the news._

Sue looked up from her notes, a little surprised. "You were really happy with him"

"Well I didn't marry for money" Audrey said a bit sarcastically.

"I know but by the way you two sounded together, I wouldn't have expected it to end the way it did"

Audrey looked back down into her lap. "I didn't expect it either, but things change"

_Audrey was in a meeting when she got the text from Jen saying to call her when she got the chance so they could meet for lunch. At one o'clock, she arrived at the small cafe they had agreed on. After some small talk, Jen decided to bring up the topic she had called Audrey here for._

"_I've been hearing some things lately, some things about Paul" she said playing with her salad. She didn't want to be doing this, but Audrey was her best friend, she deserved to know._

"_I'm glad someone knows what he's been doing, It's not like I ever see him anymore" Audrey replied dejectedly. Her husband had long ago stopped taking an interest in his wife, going on business trips, working even later than her at the office._

_They hadn't talked in a week or two and even then it was about trivial things._

"_Audrey" Jen said taking her hand in both of hers "this is serious"_

"_He's having an affair" Audrey said. It was so simple, so obvious, she had known it for weeks but had yet to say it out loud._

"_A woman named Rachael, I saw them kiss the other night at the benefit so I asked around and found out that they've been spending a lot of time together." Jen said feeling bad for her; she could see the hurt in her eyes, the pain._

"_Rachael" Audrey repeated, the name sounding dirty in her mouth._

"_Do you know her?" Jen asked cautiously._

"_I know who she is, I've met her a couple of times with Paul. God he introduced me to her" her voice quavered as she looked away._

"_What are you going to do?"_

_Audrey shook her head "I have no idea"_

…_._

_A week later, Paul had just come home to their impressive New York brownstone. Dropping his brief case on the kitchen table, he looked around their immaculate house for his wife._

"_Audrey where's dinner it's almost nine!"_

_She came down the stairs looking at him strangely. "I made some for myself, I didn't think you would be home. There might be something in the fridge"_

_Grumbling, Paul pulled stuff out of the fridge, banging the containers down on the counter top. Audrey sat on the stairs watching him, her head leaning against the banister, and her sweater wrapped around her._

_After he had made his plate and sat down at the table, he looked up at her. "What?" he asked roughly._

"_Who's Rachael?"_

"_Um Rachel Finn, she's A friend from work you've met her" Paul answered continuing to eat._

"_Right… a friend" Audrey said pushing her hair back._

"_What's your problem? I work over fifty hours a week, I pay for this place we're living in, and I come home and there's no dinner and you're asking me about some woman at work?"_

"_Who you're fucking" Audrey added._

_Paul stood up, pushing his plate off the table and letting it smash on the kitchen floor, pieces going everywhere._

"_Are you kidding me? You're accusing me of having an affair"_

"_Oh please Paul, everyone knows you're with her. Jen told me that today at lunch. She saw you kiss her at the benefit dinner last week"_

_Paul paced around the kitchen. "The dinner you dragged me to, that I never wanted to go to in the first place!"_

"_The dinner I was going to let you skip out on until, you found out your girlfriend was going to be there, and decided it would be would be worth it if you got to see her, is that it?" Audrey stood up, walking down the rest of the stairs into the kitchen, her arms crossed in front of her._

"_She's not my girlfriend and I didn't kiss her. Of course Jen told you this she hates me. She'd tell you anything to have you divorce me, kick me out of my own house"_

"_It doesn't matter what Jen said Paul, I already knew you were having an affair. The late nights, the trips, come on do you think I'm stupid?"_

"_You work just as late as I do honey, and you take work trips. Should I assume you're sleeping with someone too?"_

"_After the way you've treated me maybe I should be"_

"_The way I treated you!" Paul said getting louder. "I've treated you like a fucking queen! You don't have to work, you choose to. I've provided for you, I've taken care of you, what more do you want you ungrateful bitch!"_

"_This is what matters to you, this house? The money? You care more about that than your wife!"_

_In the moments that followed Audrey couldn't be sure if she saw or heard it first but it was like in slow motion. Paul's hand smacked her across the cheek, hard, but the pain took what seemed like forever to reach her. She had fallen backwards onto the stairs she had just been sitting._

_She sat there in shock, and she could almost see the shock in his eyes too before he straightened up, moving to clean up the broken dish off the floor. Audrey stood rooted to the spot and transfixed by what had just happened until he was done, walking past her to go into the living room._

_As the TV turned on, the realization kicked in and suddenly she was moving upstairs, finding a traveling bag and throwing clothes into it. She grabbed a few pictures of her mom, and some of her jewelry, and packed those too. She took the check book and their credit cards out of her purse and left them on the bed._

_Once she was done, she called a taxi to take her to Jen's for the night. A while later she brought her bag downstairs she let it thud against the steps, if only to irritate him. She heard the taxi honk outside and opened the door, putting her bag outside._

_Turning back around, she found Paul standing there tears coming down his face. "Baby I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry. I'll do anything I promise. Don't go." He reached out to try to grab her arm but she pulled away. "I love you, I love you so much, please, Audrey..."_

_She looked back at him angry, with a sort of tiredness in her eyes. It was over, this life they had been living. She needed a change, she deserved to be happy, to be with someone who loved her. She should have known that whatever feelings they had had for each other in the beginning, had long died out._

_She left with a red mark already appearing on her face, Paul standing in the doorway watching her go._

"You felt that your marriage had already ended, so why not get a divorce right away" Sue asked.

"It didn't take long for Paul to call begging for me to come back. We had fought before and I had left but I always went back to him eventually, but not this time. This time I bought my own house in D.C., with some money I had saved. I started working with my father who thought that after a while Paul and I would get back together. Paul still kept calling, he came to see me once but we fought again. Finally we agreed to separate for a year to see if we could work it out."

"Did you want to work it out with him?"

"He was my husband for nine years; it was hard to picture myself without him, being on my own again. And a part of me did still care about him. Maybe if things had been different we would've gotten back together, but then who knows how long it would've been till the next fight, the next time I moved out"

"...and would've ended up with Jack?"

Audrey shifted uncomfortably "I thought we were talking about Paul?"

**So potentially if I posted the next chapter within 24 hours, how would that sit with everyone?**


	11. Chapter 11 New York

_**This is for Phillip. **_

"_**New York"**_

"_**...If our hearts had never broken, well there's no joy in the mending. So much this hurt can teach us both.**_

_**There's distance and there's silence, your words have never left me . They're the prayer that I say everyday..."**_

Audrey sat slumped against the wall of her hotel room. The sunlight was coming in through the blinds, onto the bed, but it had yet to reach her. Stiff from sitting on the floor, she rolled her neck, feeling the soreness. Their flight wasn't for another four hours, it was only four something a.m., she had time. Maybe she'd get up and sleep in the bed for a few hours, or take a shower.

Or maybe she'd do what she had been debating for the past two hours and find out where Jack had gone after he had left her apartment. Maybe she would find his door open and run and jump onto his bed, into his arms and kiss him, tell him she was sorry, that she loved him, that she wanted him back.

Because there was no denying that now. Not after last night.

…...

**Six Days Earlier...**

Two day after the fight, Monday, Jack wasn't talking to her. He had snubbed her that morning when she had gone into his office to make peace, telling her he didn't want to hear it. He wouldn't look at her either apparently. She felt sick.

Friday he had left with that woman once again, and had probably spent the night with her. Audrey wondered if Jack felt what she was feeling, when he had found out about Mike. The sharp stabbing pain in her chest, it was terrible, and she deserved it. She knew she did. Even though she had found that sleeping with Mike was far from pleasurable. That was her fault too. It had been fine at first; she was a woman on a mission, determined to sleep with him whether he liked it or not. Seeing Jack with another woman was an old insecurity brought to life, highlighted by the fact that he had lied to her, told her they were just friends.

Yeah well Mike was a friend too she thought as she took his shirt off and started unbuckling his pants. Her therapist would say this was a self-destructive action used as a blocking tool to keep her from facing unwanted emotional feelings. It was odd to be thinking about Sue as she let Mike kiss her neck, let him trail his hands all over her. When he started to lift up her shirt, she went still. Bile had risen to her throat as waves of bad images surfaced. She could feel herself start to shake and tried to focus on something else, like the image of Jack kissing that bitch. Mike stopped and asked her if she was okay, she nodded and he kept going. It was a relief, she wanted this over with, and talking wasted time.

If it had been Jack, he never would have kept going. But Jack wasn't here. As Mike removed her shirt he paused again. "Shit" was all he said in a whisper, before bending to kiss down to her breasts. As he came close to one of her scars she jerked away from him, letting him know they were off limits.

Even though Mike had slept in her bed, she barely shared it with him. Instead staring out her living room window through most of the night. Everything Jack had said to her was playing in her head leaving her restless. Not to mention the sex she had just had with one of her only friends, that had left her regretting it the second it was over.

Jack was right, she had been running from him and still was. God if only she were still the same woman who had fiercely tracked him down while he was missing, she never would have let him out of her sites let alone this situation they were in.

But she was more afraid now than ever, and he knew it.

Now she was here wanting to explain, to apologize, to give in, and he wouldn't hear it. Great she thought. It was all her fault.

…...

Jack and Audrey barely talked until Thursday morning. They worked together, many times even in the same room alone, but the conversation never strayed. They were like strangers again, or at least co-workers with nothing more to say to each other than when to get the next proposal out. Jack was still mad at her, and growing impatient as the days went on especially when he saw her with Mike which was almost always now. He hated seeing him touch her, and probably would have given up broken hearten if he hadn't caught her in those rare moment after Mike had left her, looking almost tired from the act he knew she was playing.

So many times when they were alone, Audrey had opened her mouth ready to say something, anything but she didn't. She was afraid of being rejected, of hearing him say the words "too much has happened." This was worse than sleeping with Henderson she decided sometime between Tuesday and Wednesday, much worse.

Then on Thursday her boss had decided to send both her and Jack to New York together for a conference.

Alone for an entire weekend; they glanced up at each other.

…

"I don't think you should go" Mike said standing by her as he watched her type.

"Don't make it seem like I want to go, you know I don't" Her voice was calmer than she felt. In fact she did want to go, wanted it more than anything. Maybe it would give her the chance to talk to him, at least make him not hate her.

"Then stay home with me, I'll tell Dave that Jack will have to go alone, I'm sure he won't mind" Dave loosened his tie, putting his hands on his hips. He wouldn't tell her but he didn't trust her alone with her ex. The guy was intense and had complete control over Audrey, even if she didn't realize it.

"Dave wouldn't be sending both of us if he didn't have to"

"Audrey… it's just that every time your near him even for a little bit, you not alright after. I don't want him to keep hurting you."

Audrey stood up walking around her desk to lean against it. "I know, I can' t change that though, I don't know how to. You've been really great to me, I can be hard to deal with sometimes, so if you really don't want me to go then I'll tell Dave I can't make it."

He leaned forward kissing her softly.

….

The next morning the a small black limo was outside Audrey's house waiting to take her to the airport. As she gave her bags to the driver and got inside, she was surprised to find Jack already sitting there, his suit neatly pressed, and his beard shaved for the first time since he had been back. It captivated Audrey seeing him looking more like the Jack she used to know, but also saddened her. It took a while for her to figure out it was because she had always wondered what it would be like to kiss him with a beard.

He caught her gaze, looking up from the paper he was reading, and instantly she felt the warmth in her cheeks. "Good Morning" he said in that soft but raspy morning voice, before nodding his head to the coffee waiting for her in the cup holder. "Morning" she replied picking it up and sipping it, once again surprised that he had gotten it right.

Besides that the drive to the airport was mostly silent, letting Audrey's mind go off, thinking of other times they had taken this trip. Once at the airport, they wasted no time, walking straight up the steps to a smaller plane that would be taking them to New York.

It was then that her mind wandered to different things, to their brownstone that they had loved so much in the beginning. Coming home each night she could look at it and almost laugh, at the thought that they had actually made something of themselves after college. The dean that caught her and Paul together, drunk and making out in the bushes outside one of her classroom buildings, had told them that they would forever be dependent on the wallets of their parents, that they would make nothing of themselves. Then as the years went by she came to start hating coming home, seeing that house where inside may or not be her absent husband. Even if he was there it was always a gamble as to what mood he would be in. She took off her reading glasses now letting her head fall back against the seat closing her eyes for a split second before opening them again to stare out the window at the clouds.

Her talk yesterday with Sue had brought up a lot of old memories; memories she had almost forgotten. Paul had taken so much from her, that she didn't think she'd ever find anyone else again. And yet she was wrong. She found Jack. The man she had fallen in love with so quick and so fast it had scared her. She had never felt as strongly about anyone as she did him.

And now he was sitting across from her and she had nothing to say.

Jack watched as she bit her lip, her fingers playing with her suit coat. She was clearly anxious about something and if he had to guess it would be because she was stuck here with him. Maybe this weekend, without all the other distractions, they could at least talk. "What" he asked, ready to make the most of their weekend while he had this chance.

She wondered if she should tell him what she was thinking but decided against it. _Chicken, just tell him _her inner voice called, but she couldn't. "Do you have the reports from this morning?" she asked covering for herself. He nodded and handed them to her across the limo.

…...

Twelve hours later Audrey sat at the hotel bar by herself, a glass of wine in her hand as she stared off into the many bottles of alcohol on the wall. It had been more than a long day, and she needed something to calm her nerves before she went up to bed.

"'hey" she heard from behind her, just as he sat down on the stool next to her, still dressed in his work clothes himself."Whiskey please" Jack ordered as the bar tender turned his way.

It was quiet for a moment, neither finding anything to say. In the background, TV's over the bar played a basketball game. It was a small bar in the hotel and almost empty.

"You remember the last time we were here?" Audrey asked tentatively. It was bugging her. She hoped he remembered. The night Paul showed up, god she remembered it like it was yesterday. After Paul had finished his tirade when she had refused to move back home, she had opened the door finding Jack staring out into the night. She could feel his hurt, it reverberated through her body. Paul was always a sore spot with him, she tried not to bring it up in front of him, but sometimes it couldn't be helped. She wondered if he felt guilty for sleeping with her, or nervous he was going to lose her. Sometimes Audrey even attributed it to him missing his wife. Her insecurities were always poking their way out in these moments, breaking into her carefree life with him, complicating things. Funny even then she was scared of him leaving.

"Of course" he answered, sipping the whiskey the bartender had brought back. That night, they had made up in each other's arms for hours. Audrey felt her face turning red and changed the subject. "Do you think Reynolds is going to listen to us?"

"He did last time"

"Right, I think we should start off telling him that the costs of the bill will diminish in time and…"

But he cut her off. "We're going to talk business?"

Audrey was taken aback. His tone was harsh and it threw her off. She was still getting used to seeing him without the beard she had come accustom to over the last couple weeks. It had made him seem calmer, safer in a way. Now clean shaven, he was back to looking like himself, and a pissed self at that. "That's why we're here" she said weakly.

Jack glared at her. His blue eyes were so intense they were hard to look at. She felt small under his gaze. Jack could tell he had caught her off guard. He hadn't wanted to be so harsh, but he was frustrated after she had brought up last time. "No that's why we're meeting with Reynolds, right now we're just having drinks"

There was silence, Audrey waited to see what he would do._Here it is_ she thought.

"Why didn't you tell me before about Paul" Jack finally asked under his breath.

Audrey averted his gaze. "Because it wasn't important" she said honestly.

"It was... it is to me. And I had to find out through your boyfriend..." he said with a nasty snarl.

"If you don't like him so much why didn't you hit him back that night outside the bar? You didn't even try to defend yourself" It had been bothering her all week, the image of his bloodied lip and black eye, his hands shaking.

"You're upset I didn't hit your boyfriend? This is a change" He hadn't really wanted to say that but his anger got away from him.

"Is this still about Paul?"

Jack stared at her for a moment before answering. "You were going to go back with him, even after he hit you and cheated on you. I know I wasn't the best person back then, but I had never done anything to hurt you, You still chose him. I'm just the one you got stuck with" with that he threw a twenty on the bar and walked off, leaving Audrey staring after him. Her heart was begging her to run after him but she felt frozen by his words and the hurt there.

….

The next day went by with one meeting after another, with little time for Jack and Audrey to talk about anything non work related. By the time nine o'clock came around, they both went off to their rooms, unfortunately in the same hallway, without saying a word.

It was well past midnight, and Audrey laid restless in bed, trying unsuccessfully to find sleep, when someone knocked at her door. She was startled at first, why would anyone want to see her this late? Whoever was there knocked again making her jump. She looked through the peephole and found Jack standing outside in dark jeans and a clean white shirt.

Taking a breath of relief she opened the door, not bothering to put shorts on.

He was surprised how fast she had gotten to the door., but surprise faded into something else when he realized she was wearing one of his old t-shirts and not much else. He could pick her up in an instant and bring her to the bed, let them start to fix this fucked up mess they were in once in for all. It was tempting.

His intense eyes met hers, and she felt almost threatened by the look he was giving her. His fore arm was against the door frame as he leaned into it, making him almost face to face with her. His other hand was in his pocket, but she could tell he was tense just by his expression.

"Um hi" she spoke softly, but it was barely even a whisper.

In silence he moved forward, backing her into the room until he could close the door behind him, sending them both into darkness.

It took a while for her eyes to adjust and when she finally could make out his face clearly she found his expression hadn't changed. She was holding her breath, wondering what he was going to do.

Again he moved towards her, backing her up until she felt the wall behind her. He put both hands up next to her head, framing her face and bending so that their noses were almost touching.

His hand moved against her cheek, feeling her soft skin before coming to rest in her hair. In the same moment his forehead was against hers in an all too familiar gesture.

There was no air left in the room, she was starting to suffocate with him so close, her nerves all on end. Then their noses touched and for a moment she thought he might kiss her, they were so close.

"Hi" he finally said. He wanted nothing more than to reach his hand down to her hips, to lift his hand up underneath her shirt and feel the smooth soft skin of her stomach. It was killing him, it had been too long.

Her hand slowly moved up, cautiously, unsure. She didn't know what she was doing, and halfway to him she stopped and was about to draw her hand back when he took her wrist and guided her hand to his shoulder. Feeling him under her hand felt surreal. He seemed a little thinner than she remembered, but as muscular as ever. She let her eyes meet his, forcing herself not to look away. Silently she told him she was done with the fighting, with the games. She was his now. She jerked her head towards him, in a nod like gesture, almost touching his lips with her own.

He let go of her immediately, taking a step or two back. She was confused, hurt even. Was he screwing with her now? Was that how he was going to get back at her?

"I don't want you to see Mike anymore" his voice cut through the darkness of the room. They were going to solve their problems by talking to each other this time round. As much as he wanted her, he wanted it to work between them and there was just too much that needed to be said on both sides. They couldn't just get lost in each other anymore, the wounds were too deep for that and in the end it would only self destruct them.

She felt a rage boiling inside her. How dare he? "Oh really? Too bad".

"Stop playing this game. We both know you don't want to be in that relationship. Don't keep getting his hopes up. Break up with him."

"Break up with your girlfriend" she countered. She knew he was right, too right.

"Damnit Audrey, she's not my girlfriend. How many times do I have to say it? I know I've screwed up, I should have told her from the beginning I had absolutely no interest in her. That was my fault. She got the wrong idea and kissed me, but after that I set her straight. , Geezus I don't know how you can be so blind sometimes, so insecure"

"Insecure? Of course I'm insecure. The day you came back from the dead, I had to interview the woman you had been living with. That's how they described her. Then you come back again... Do you honestly think I didn't know how long you've been in D.C.? All these months you've been there with her. Is this Starting to sound familiar?"

Jack didn't know how to respond to that. "I have **never **cheated on you."

"Yeah well neither have I, doesn't make it hurts less does it?" Audrey yelled at him. They were both so angry now, even though only a few minutes ago he had had her pushed up against the wall.

…...

As the minutes passed by they said nothing, each deep in their own thoughts. Audrey was now sitting with her back against the wall, while Jack sat across from her against the back of the couch.

It was a long time before Jack slowly picked himself up. "It's your move sweetheart" was all he said when he left her alone and tired on the floor.

"_**If you were here beside me, instead of in New York, if the curve of you was curved on me,**_

_**I'd tell you that I loved you, before I ever knew you, 'cause I loved the simple thought of you"**_

_**-New York, by Snow Patrol**_


End file.
